Now, in retrospect, it seems absurd that I would buy a fixerupper. Though a good friend advised against this, I bought it anyway. And so over the years I have witnessed the slow parade of contractors, dozens have come and gone. I have come to realize that given the plethora of predators, they are most like the Hyena. A swift moving Cheetah will quickly snap a neck or constrict air flow. Painful perhaps, but quick, and in a way, merciful. The Hyena, on the other hand, moving in packs, will slowly rip its prey apart. Tearing sinew from bone, in slow fashion, they remove the fabric of life bit by bit – a series of small agonizing deaths. The contractor, like the Hyena, yelp and laugh among themselves – inside jokes of hidden fees extolled to the unwary. You cannot escape anymore, the wound is too deep. And when they are through, you will muster an exasperated, “This is not what I asked for.” No matter, you will have been picked clean – the wallet from your pocket, and your soul from its disheveled abode.

The contractors we eventually picked were friends of the family. If I had to give advice about finding a contractor, I’d say find one that a friend, family, or co-worker has used. Basically someone you now that can explain their personal experience. I feel for ya.