Photo of the Week: 22-Week Ultrasound

So my wife had her 22-week ultrasound today, apparently the final one barring any issues, and I took some time off to go with her.

This was my third time going to one of these appointments so, for once, I kinda knew what I was in for. Truth be told, for the most part, I just sit there with my mouth shut — it’s not that hard.

This time was kinda neat, though… See, if you’ve ever gone to one of these appointments you can’t miss how the women in the waiting room size one another up. It’s hysterical.

On our first visit, back in November, it was hard not to notice the other women in the waiting room looking down on us — you know, cause we weren’t “far” enough along.

The second visit, well, everyone in the waiting room seemed to be at about the same stage, so the women were obviously sizing up the “support partners” (ha!) in a pseudo my-man-is-better-than-your-man sort of way. Thank god I don’t wear sweatpants in public.

Really, by that fact alone, I out-manned one fellow.

This time, my wife was the cow of the room. No doubt. One woman across from us in the waiting room was so sheepish about it that she wouldn’t even make eye contact.

I couldn’t help but be proud.

Yeah, that’s right. My wife is fatter than your wife.

Once we were called into the room where they do the ultrasound thing, the appointment went just like the previous ones. Yep, little monster skeleton looking thing in there kicking and squirming. Think… velociraptor.

Unfortunately, the images didn’t seem as clear this time — not sure what that was about — but could clearly see the baby opening and closing it’s mouth, so that was neat.

Then it was time for the real doctor to come in for a look. Again, it’s just like going to the dentist — the person without the degree does all the work and then the big bad doctor comes in at the end for 5 seconds.

The door opens, and without even introducing himself, he blurts out, “What hospital are you having the baby at?”

Poor grammar aside, I thought it was a pretty strange entrance. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, but later my wife thought he was prying to see if he should bother pretending to be nice, you know, since we’re NOT having the baby at this hospital, he had no problem coming across as gruff.

He sat down and took control of the little wand/scanner thing. It was blatantly apparent that he had the personality of a door knob.

Now, I was an engineering major in university.

I know what you’re thinking; those guys are always a bunch of nerdy dweebs.

For the most part, that’s true. What I’m saying is that I’ve hung out with a lot of people with zero personality. I can honestly say that I’ve spent a few Friday nights discussing math — I’m not ashamed to admit it.

But here’s the thing — engineers generally only interact with engineers.

This guy, on the other hand, is a doctor?!

Doctors deal with the public!

Further, this guy is a freaking BABY DOCTOR?!

I dunno, but I think the med schools out there need to start teaching these guys something about dealing with the public. I mean, to get your engineering degree, you had to pass a communications course that taught you how to NOT speak geek speak all the time.

Most of us considered it a “bird” course, but really, for some, I’m sure it had some effect.

Anyway, at one point, while scanning all around looking for a nice clear shot of the heart, he lifted his free hand and started scratching the top of his head like an ape.

We’re not talking about a discrete index finger itch. This was an all out four-fingered plow-the-fields scratch that lasted over 10 seconds. Un-real.

Now, I must admit, I’ve been known to scratch my head like an ape too — usually while driving around in the convertible.

I dunno, there’s something about the wind whipping your hair all around that makes your head really itchy.

Am I alone on this one?

Either way, it wasn’t windy in the examination room…

For the record — this is the first ultrasound post that hasn’t included a reference to an action figure.

I’m pretty proud of that.

Posted on January 13th, 2009 at 7:52 pm by Brainy Smurf
Photo, Smurfling | 2 Comments »

It isn’t how MUCH you make, it’s what you DO with it.

Last week, or maybe even the week before, I heard Dave Ramsey seemingly go out of his way to defend people who pay off all of their debts while making a pretty decent income.

I missed the original call (or email?), but based on my interpretation of his response, I’d assume that the caller didn’t approve of the fact that Dave applauds the “I’m Deft FREEEEEEE!” success of those with incomes $50k, $75k, $100k, $150k, etc…

Or maybe the caller was just upset that those with larger incomes got just as much praise as those with lower incomes — you know, under the impression that it’s easier to pay off debt with a higher income; something I disagree with, by the way…

Obviously, I fall into the $50k+ per year income category which might explain why I feel the way I do on the subject.

After a little bit of ribbing, questioning how those making $50k or more could be stupid enough to get themselves into debt in the first place, Dave then defended his applause of the high wage earners.

It’s not their ability to pay off debt in relatively short order that he’s applauding — he’s applauding the fact that they’ve overcome whatever it was that got them into the habit of living beyond their means.

He went on to explain that that’s exactly the same thing he’s applauding with those making minimum wage. There isn’t any difference.

Then he backtracked a bit and said it was indeed a lot more impressive when someone making $18k per year pays off six figures… at which point I turned it off…

(No, not because I didn’t want to listen anymore… I’d just gotten to my destination at that point…)

It just reminds me of some acquaintances that I have that routinely moan about their cell phone being shut off, or their television cable being cut, almost always because they’re behind on their bills.

Offering advice, my response has always been — “Why don’t you pay the bills?”

And the typical response I receive is something like, “If I made your kinda money, I could…”

Yeah, they just don’t get it…

It isn’t how much you make, it’s what you do with it.

And figuring out the second part is what I think Dave Ramsey’s radio show is all about.

Posted on January 10th, 2009 at 7:00 pm by Brainy Smurf
Finance, Life, Rants | No Comments »

Kash Money? I Don’t Get It…

Have you seen the latest Geico commericals? You know, the ones with that stack of cash with eyes “watching” people?

They’ve been running pretty heavily for a few weeks now… maybe even a month.

Now, as much as I like to hear a Rockwell re-mix, I just don’t get these commercials.

Plain and simple… they suck!

Kinda like Rockwell did.

Really, if you’re old enough to remember the original song, you’ll also remember that the only reason it hit the charts was because of MJ‘s back-up vocal…

Now, Geico’s message has been the same for years. You can save money by switching to them. Their advertising campaigns for the past 5 years or so have been brilliant!

I mean, who would have thought that an auto insurance company could be so successful with a bunch of goofy commercials featuring digitally animated lizards and a trio of cavemen hocking their product/service?

It makes no sense, but even 5-year-olds know that “a 15 minute call could save you 15% or more on your car insurance” and that “it’s so easy, a caveman could do it”.

These commercials actually feature, well, “the money” you could be saving — they’re cutting right to the chase (for once) — but it just doesn’t work.

Weird.

Anyway, the whole ad campaign is worse than Microsoft’s Jerry Seinfeld spot…

What do you think?

Posted on January 7th, 2009 at 8:55 pm by Brainy Smurf
Music, Rants, Retro, Television | 2 Comments »

Photo of the Week: Yellow Snow

Starting to sense a theme this week?

After reading yesterday’s post, my wife couldn’t help but point out one of my Christmas gifts from her mother.

So, as I crunch away while watching the season premiere of the Biggest Loser (a guilty pleasure), it’s become apparent that sometimes happiness can actually come from eating yellow snow.

Posted on January 6th, 2009 at 8:00 pm by Brainy Smurf
Photo, Television | 2 Comments »

Sound Advice from Bazooka Joe

I’m not usually one to dole out advice on Pants in a Can.

I mean, I’m not certain that any advice that I’d give could be considered sound. I just talk about what I’m doing, what I’ve done, why I’m doing it, and why I’ve done it.

For the most part, it’s worked out pretty well for me.

If you want to mimic the way I successfully got myself out of debt, you know, follow my lead, by all means, go right ahead!

Of course, I write this post a mere three days after offering some real estate advice… Go figure?

Anyway, the Bazooka Joe comic pictured is one that I’ve carried in my wallet since, hmmmm, probably 1999. A kid I used to sit with at hockey games (and was always chewing gum) gave me a piece of gum one night and this was the comic enclosed:

The comic itself is pretty stupid, as expected, but the fortune at the bottom still makes me smile to this day.

Happy is one who eats not the yellow snow.

Now that’s sound advice.

Maybe it’s that hint of Yoda-ness that strikes me, I dunno, but I wish fortune cookies would have such funny messages.

Posted on January 5th, 2009 at 8:37 pm by Brainy Smurf
Blogging?, Retro | 2 Comments »

Downsize? No Way… I’d Rather Just Pay it Off…

The lack of a financial goal for 2009 is sorta making me worry… I mean, I set all of those very specific financial goals for 2008 and worked hard all year long and pretty much accomplished them all.

This year, I’ve got nothing.

I’m saving up for a home improvement project without a price tag.

It’s too, um, fluffy for my tastes.

So, in a desperate search for something more specific that I can keep track of — and after reading Frugal Dad’s resolution about downsizing his home (and concluding that while it will work out well for him, it would be a horrible idea for me), I’ve been toying with the idea of hitting the mortgage hard.

Over the past two years, my debt attacking strategy has knocked around $25k per year off of my combined debt balances. At a pace like that — now, finally, with no other debt besides the mortgage — I could theoretically pay off the house in 4 years.

I mean, just last year, when I set out to overpay the mortgage by $6100, I instead ended up knocking $11k off of the principle, almost double, while still paying down the credit cards and an auto loan.

I can totally “afford” to do this.

Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s dumb to pay off your mortgage early… But I think it’s even stupider to downsize a home that you can easily afford, while likely taking a loss on it as well.

Now, Frugal Dad intends to pay off his future mortgage (for the smaller home) in 10 years time. Maybe that means that I didn’t fall into the bigger is better trap of the last decade because, if I pay mine off in the next 4 years, I’ll essentially be paying it off in 10 years as well.

Regardless, the thought of being just 36 years old and owning my home free and clear (with no other outstanding debt) kind of outweighs the stupidity of it all. Different strokes for different folks.

Still on the fence about it though…

Posted on January 4th, 2009 at 10:04 am by Brainy Smurf
2009 Goals, Finance, Mortgage, Motivation | 5 Comments »

Today’s Highpaying Morning Project

This morning we headed to the grocery store at the crack of dawn to return bottles and cans.

Exciting times, let me tell you…

This was our first trip since August when we accumulated $45.40 in the span of an hour.

While there wasn’t any creepy old man drama this time, we had the place to ourselves, we didn’t come away with quite as much cash in our hands.

Total bounty was $41.25 (825 bottles and cans) and it took us about 45 minutes to feed the machines. Not bad when you consider that that’s a better reward than my credit cards offer!

But it’s frightening to think that we average over 200 cans of carbonation per month — that’s like a 6-pack per day?!

Holy crap — It’s a wonder that I still have my teeth!

(That last line was to remind myself that I have a dentist appointment next week.)

Posted on January 3rd, 2009 at 9:01 am by Brainy Smurf
Bargains, Cutting Costs, Finance | 1 Comment »

Sometimes it’s Clear that I Just Don’t Understand the Markets…

The Dow finished up almost 3%. The NASDAQ was up 3.5%. Those are HUGE gains.

So…where’d this rally come from? It was up, up, and up right from the opening bell.

Bernanke didn’t announce anything. I didn’t hear Paulsen’s name in the news today. Obama‘s laying low. No signs of all the money Madoff lost… What gives?

You can’t tell me that it’s some sort of New Year optimism — I mean, in the “real” world, flipping the calendar page from December to January is just like any other page flip.

For me, today was just a regular Friday at work.

Sure, we had yesterday off, but I can’t claim that the office had a “new” mood running rampant. I didn’t sense any optimism — indifference would more accurately describe the atmosphere lately.

I can’t believe that it would actually be *this* different on Wall Street.

Apparently it is…

Posted on January 2nd, 2009 at 5:15 pm by Brainy Smurf
Current Events | 4 Comments »

Doling Out Real Estate Advice: Perils of Living on a Corner

A guy that I work with is looking to buy his very first house sometime within the next few months. He seems pretty excited about it.

He, his wife, and their infant daughter are currently living in his parents house and, his words, “It’s time.”

There’s a bit of a language barrier between us being that we’re from opposite ends of the planet, but we’re both around the same age, I’d assume that we make about the same amount, and I like to think that our goals overlap quite a bit. Must be an immigrant thing… I dunno…

So far he’s been looking at some pretty affluent areas and I think he’s been discouraged by the price tag attached to homes in those towns.

I grew up in one of those towns. In fact, it’s one that he had on the very top of his list.

Now, people can say that the reputation of the local school system is an important aspect when it comes to settling on a home, he actually mentioned it, but I think that I would have been perfectly happy living two towns over in a house twice the size — and no, the surrounding towns aren’t/weren’t ghettos.

Besides, the heralded school system that I came out of certainly didn’t prepare me for university. It may have earned me acceptance at a few schools (that I didn’t attend anyway), but no matter how you slice it, I feel that my high school education was substandard.

Academically, I was NOT prepared for higher education.

For that, I blame the school system. It was, and still is, over-hyped. Really, they’re still bragging about some award the school system won in 1985…

Other than telling him that the school system in the town he was looking at sucks (and has only gotten worse over the past 24 years since they ‘won’ that award), I told him that my advice would be to pick a house with a great location — don’t worry so much about the town.

He smiled and laughed out a, “Location, location, location…” while waving his finger.

Evidently, he’d heard that before.

Further, I told him to avoid living on a corner if at all possible which resulted in a very confused look.

The house I’ve lived in for the past 6+ years is on a corner. The house I lived in with my parents for over a decade was also on a corner. I’ve got some experience when it comes to living on a corner.

While there are some perks, like being able to give people really simple directions (“Yeah, it’s on the corner of Garden and Glen Hollow”), they don’t outweigh the negatives…

One annoyance is that there’s always a school bus stop in your lawn when you live on a corner. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re one of those people who really values the appearance of your lawn, good luck getting grass to grow there.

Further, on the subject of lawn care, when you live on a corner, chances are that there are street signs in your lawn. You know, street signs, stop signs, and speed limit signs?

Ever have to mow around those?

It’s tough — requiring you to have to weedwack too. Doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but if you live on a corner, you know what I’m taking about…

Does the city have sidewalks? Guess what, in the winter it’s the law to shovel them within 6 hours of the completion of a snow storm. If you live on the corner, well, you’ve got to shovel the sidewalk on two sides of your property rather than just one like everyone else. Hardly a perk…

Another problem with living on a corner is that, at night, car’s headlights will shine into your house when they take the corner. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced this problem because the direction that cars making the turn towards my house has always been desolate. The people across the corner from us, well, I’m sure their bedroom lights up with every passing car. That would suck — even on a low-traffic street.

When you live on the corner, people who walk their dogs think your property is their toilet. It sorta makes sense if you think about it, you know, with all of the street signs, cable boxes, and fire hydrants that you have on your property, dogs love it. It’s like a playground for them or something… I often think the dogs “hold” it on their walks until they reach a corner.

But the largest hassle you’ll encounter, for whatever reason, when you live on a corner is that, besides dog $h!t, your yard also becomes a depository for Taco Bell wrappers and 7-11 Big Gulp cups.

People also seem to enjoy emptying their car ashtrays in front of your house too. It’s… nice.

Actually, it’s disgusting.

My street has very little traffic, maybe one car per hour on a busy day, but I still end up having to pick up trash along the corner more than 3 times per week. Our next door neighbors?

Well, I’d venture to guess that they think we’re pigs since we always have garbage in our yard.

Evidently, they’re unaware of what it’s like to live on a corner.

Posted on January 2nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life, Rants | 2 Comments »

Net Worth Update: January 2009 (+$6,469)

Finally a positive month!

December of 2008 essentially canceled out my dismal November, which is good, but I’ve still got a long way to go to make up for my 5-figure loss in the month of October…

No matter, you have to get going somewhere and it looks like December was my first month on the road to recovery.

Here’s the breakdown:

Cash:
Getting that third paycheck at the end of the month (due to New Year’s Day falling on my normal pay day) padded this number some and also allowed me to pay off some credit card debt at the last minute.

Savings:
This is the result of my mildly successful aggressive savings plan. While yesterday’s news (ING lowered their rate) is a little upsetting, if I can keep this kind of pace up until the smurfling is born, well, I’ll be in great shape — you know, to start a renovation plan for, ahem, that room…

Gov’t Bonds:
Considering that I’ve only got $600 tied up in these things, a gain of four bucks is pretty neat-o!

401k:
No complaints here. All the reports you hear are about how the stock market lost over 40% of it’s value in 2008, but my investments rose nearly 6% in the last month. Overall, for the entire year, I lost around 34%, but the fact that it went up a reasonable amount in December is reaffirming that it’s the right place to have such a large amount of my assets

Home:
Can you say recovery? Ha! A little too early for that, but hey, after three months of decline, again, I’m not complaining.

Auto 1 & Auto 2:
Hmmmm… The both took a pretty large hit this month. Not sure what’s up with that, but I won’t let it bother me because I don’t owe a dime on either of them.

Credit Cards:
Zilch. Zero. Nada. Remember that Black Friday Derailment I had at the end of November? Well, it didn’t hit my credit card until December, but yesterday’s paycheck paid every last cent of it off.

Auto Loans:
Have I mentioned that I paid these off? 2008 was a great year for me financially.

Other Loans:
Nothing to report.

Mortgage:
More movement that last month but still not very much to get excited about. Evidently I have made the transition from debt repayment to savings, which I thought was impossible back in July, but I really hope I can find the funds to knock around $1000 off the mortgage principle each month *and* still be able to keep up my savings routine.

Posted on January 1st, 2009 at 8:57 am by Brainy Smurf
Finance, Net Worth Updates | No Comments »