The no-peanuts & hand sanitizers- it is what it is now. You won’t see those things going anywhere & I’d even expect them if you look anywhere else. Little kids don’t know that can’t have peanuts & they are very germy!

I’d go with the first place. I love how you feel all nostalgic & such, but I’d imagine a good bunch of those toys have been recalled for safety issues. Sure, you survived them, much like we all survived w/o car seats. We know better now. If a daycare can’t keep new-ish, clean, well maintained toys available for babies, how are they on new carpets & baby equipment like changing tables, swings & high chairs? Something to think about.

Go with your wife on this one. Honestly, she’ll have the most guilt about daycare & she needs to feel she’s doing the best she can for the baby

Picking a daycare is the most difficult part of being a new parent. If an in-home daycare setting provided by a good friend or close family member is available, then that might also be another option to consider. The cost is usually considerably lower, and your child will get more individual attention.

You raise a good point. Without putting words into my wife’s mouth, I think a lot of it has to do with our family’s risk tolerance — which I suppose the finances are a big part of.

We’re more of the sacrifice-now-to-benefit-later. I have little doubt that our children will still be children when we’re all but retired on the course that we’re currently on. Latchkey is unlikely. Depending on how quickly the public school system declines, I’m not even taking home-schooling off of the table…

As for the costs involved with daycare, yes, $12k is definitely a lot of money but that’s one of the reasons that we waited so long to have children (we’re in our mid-30′s) — at this stage, it’s a cost that we can afford. I know some people say that waiting until you can afford children is something that leads into an eternal delay but I disagree. We waited. And now we can afford it.

My employer does offer health insurance — a less desireable plan at a MUCH higher rate. On the flip side, my benefits package was better until the match on the 401k was dropped earlier this week. Though I guess that I’m the one that makes the “big bucks”, her job “wins” in all other categories — income potential included.

I also think that my wife takes pride in her position at the company. She’s important and definitely on the up-and-up. Best of all, her employer is “flexible” enough that a pregnancy or a maternity leave won’t derail her progress. That’s very cool and certainly not something that’s very common either. In that respect, she has a great job.

Again, with the other related costs involved in raising a baby, I have to say, the longer you wait, the easier it is. That’s what we’ve found anyway.

Had we had the little one 10 years ago, wow, things would have been tight. No doubt, one of us would have had to have stayed home — daycare would have been too expensive. I’m not certain that we would have been able to buy a house. No way we’d have a BMW in the garage. No way would I be able to continue to blow money on dirty hockey jerseys. Not that those last two things are important in the grand scheme of things, I’m just saying that we’re at a stage now where adding a member of the family isn’t crippling to the budget.

I also think that daycare is in our baby’s best interests. I’ll be honest, neither my wife or I are the most social people. I mean, if put into a social situation, I can certainly come across as very outgoing but it’s definitely not something I seek out.

As early as possible, I’d like to “break” that in Duncan and throw him into social situations so that he’s not as shy as I was as a kid (and even now). A room full of children his own age is, in my book, the best way to do that and, unfortunately, I don’t know enough people who have children this age to organize something like that on my own.

At the same time, don’t get the idea that we’re yuppies who’re gonna drop their kid off each day like it’s nothing. Yeah, it’ll be hard and, yeah, of course it’s not exactly what we want to do but it seems like the wisest move — for all parties involved — right now.

Oh, and thankfully his first smile already arrived — and we had the camera ready!

I sub at a pre-school, and let me tell you, hand sanitizer is the way to go! It seems obsessive, but infants are always leaking something, 3 year olds never remember to flush and/or wash their hands, they all seem to suck on various bizarre objects (door handles, really) and kids of ALL ages are always putting their fingers in some orifice it doesn’t belong. You will learn to appreciate sanitizer as smurfy gets older.

Also, re: the peanut allergies; I was totally with you on this one until the school nurse explained it to me. With peanuts, the allergen is in the oils of the nut, so a child who eats a pb&j sandwich and doesn’t wash his hands (as I’ve already stated that they don’t) can spread that oil all over the room in a matter of minutes. Some kids are so allergic that merely touching the oil with their hands (before they put the toy in their mouth) can cause a severe reaction.

Have a great day!

How does your wife feel about returning to work? Is she 100% ok with leaving her son in daycare at such a young age? Six weeks is so tiny! You say you’re pretty sure your wife would love to be a SAHM. Why can’t she be?

In my un-asked for opinion, if she wants to be a SAHM, that would be the best thing for your family — not some illusion of a better financial situation.

I don’t know your situation, of course, but is paying $231/week (that’s $12k per year!!) really worth it?

Brainy Smurf, does your employer offer health insurance? Or does your wife make the big bucks and have a generous benefits package?

Nobody truly has total job security. Anyone is replaceable. No one is immune from layoffs. If you go from two incomes to one, then yeah, it’s a little more frightening when the one person loses their job. But, that’s why we have emergency funds, ya know?

I don’t know what you mean by “schedule flexibility,” so I can’t really comment on that.

I don’t know if your wife is breastfeeding now, but from what I hear from other moms, pumping is hard work. She might be able to pump at work, but expect to supplement with formula. Formula and the related accessories = megabux.

In daycare, your little one will certainly catch colds. Which one of you will stay home with him when he does? How will that affect your jobs?

Babies grow so stinkin fast. My son is six months old now and I’m amazed at all that he’s learned how to do in his short life.

I would be heartbroken to know that his first smile wasn’t at me, but at his babysitter. Or when he first rolled over, he was at daycare instead of at my feet.

Maybe daycare really is the best option for your family. But maybe it isn’t — keep on exploring it. Babies need their mamas, and mamas need their babes!

Talk with your wife some more. If you’re both certain you want to go the daycare route, what if you delayed it until your son was older?