Authors Posts by Brainy Smurf

Brainy Smurf

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I'm three apples high and nearsighted. I like yellow-haired smurfs, robot invasions, sarcasm, and anything where the secret ingredient is love.

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Oh, you forgot about him? Well, as a quick recap, we added our third child back in January, another son, and he came out, well, less than perfect.

For real, I heard the words “birth defect” in the delivery room.

Not cool. Not cool at all…

He was tested for this and tested for that.

He even had a toe removed back in May.

Crazy, right?

Here he is just a few days ago:
Baby in a Bumbo Seat

Go ahead, count the toes, if you must. I’ll wait.

Thankfully, there isn’t *really* anything wrong with him that can’t be fixed.

As such, today we spent the day going from one waiting room to another in the local children’s hospital.

AbacusYou know, for a children’s hospital, you’d think they’ve have better waiting rooms. Not that I’ve ever really found the “perfect” waiting room in all of my adventures in waiting but, really, a children’s hospital of all places should have children friendly waiting rooms.

No, sorry, a fancy abacus looking thing in the corner doesn’t cut it in 2015.

Anyway, we signed off on all of the forms with doctor and spoke with the anesthesiologist too.

Long (and purposely vague) story short, the poor little guy is going under the knife for a 4-hour procedure on August 28.

As a parent, it’s a pretty scary thought to imagine putting your infant under anesthesia…

You want to talk about a horrible waiting room experience? Yeah, get back to me on the 28th…

But by that evening, he’ll be as good as new. Well, almost.

Hey, at least he won’t remember any of this.

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Ludwig Sticks

Tre CoolI remember once watching Green Day perform at some festival on television, probably around 1995, and my dad remarked, “That guy is terrible” in reference to Tre Cool, the drummer in the band.

I mean, I could tell that Billie Joe Armstrong was terrible at his instrument but didn’t notice how “off” Tre Cool was — and still is in every single performance I’ve ever seen since by Green Day.

My dad was spot-on. The guy can’t play.

Fast forward a few years, and it’s the same type of deal where Blink 182 (essentially a Green Day ripoff) is playing live at some awards show or something on television and my dad utters, “Hmm, maybe he’s not so bad…” assuming it’s the same guy.

Travis Barker

Through all of the noise, all my dad would listen for is the snare — and apparently Travis Barker had “it”.

I’m not totally certain what ‘it’ was — my guess is that his rudiments are spot on unlike Tre Cool who, while fast, is actually about as (un) talented as Animal is playing with Electric Mayhem.

Either way, it was quite a sight to see a guy in his late fifties drumming away on the steering wheel to a Blink-182’s “Rock Show“.

Dennis & Randy

My dad played snare for Preston Scout House and later the Flying Dutchman, following his older brothers’ footsteps, in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s.

It was kind of a big deal… and not, like, just locally. It was renowned. World famous, even…which back then simply meant “famous in North America.”

Still, keep in mind that this was way before marching bands, aside from DCI, turned into what they are now — social outcasts that often turn out to be the folks that own cats by the dozen later in life. These kids were cool.

From what I can gather, he was pretty good at it too as I’ve been told by a number of people who wouldn’t just say it cause I was his son or because he’d died — I’m pretty certain he *was* really good at it.

When it came time for me to play an instrument, my dad laid down a few rules.

Absolutely no reed instruments – clarinet, oboe, or that god awful instrument called a saxophone.

No flute.

And never, ever, drums.

Didn’t leave me with a lot to choose from — and I think that was his plan all along…

I ended up on a trumpet in third grade, getting a jump on most of my classmates who took up instruments in 5th grade and beyond.

I believe my dad steered me away from drums mostly because he knew that, even if I’d managed to get really, really, really good at it, for the most part, the “talent” would always go completely unrecognized.

To be just awesome at something but have most people see it as, eh, yeah, that’s pretty good.

“Have you heard the new Beatles’ song? That Ringo is to die for…”

AnimalTalk about unfulfilling.

And now, when listening to live music, I totally get it.

Most of these guys are hacks just smashing away behind a wall of drums semi-randomly most of the time — and most people think they’re gifted musicians.

They’re not.

Kind of explains why nearly every song you hear on the radio was actually performed by studio musicians and not the “talent” on the cover of the CD or in the music video.

Anyway, while I was the best trumpet player in our school through 7th grade, it was never really my passion…and other kids were quickly catching up.

tubaI soon switched over to tuba. Yeah, the tuba.

No joke, our band teacher had a poster in his office of all of the brass instruments. I went in for my trumpet lesson one day and said, “I want to play that one” while pointing to the tuba.

I’d picked it cause it was the biggest and once the school system actually secured one for me to play it was so big, in fact, that I had to sit on a couple telephone books to reach the mouthpiece.

Played tuba through high school — getting a trip to Germany in the process — and then left it in my past the day I graduated.

While I was never very good, no one ever forgets the tuba player.

That is pretty fulfilling.

– – – – – – – –

PIAC Addendum

Total lie up above.

I actually was pretty good at the tuba.

I mean, I didn’t have a lot of competition as there were never more than two tuba players in our band at any given time so it wasn’t much of a challenge to be the best or anything, but, yeah, I was a pretty good tuba player.


– – – – – – – –

Tangent from the Deep End

Glory DaysFurther, I sometimes think about how people “peak” at a certain point in their lives before starting a steady decline.

For me, I’m not certain if my own peak came in high school (like it does for so many people) at the height of my track accomplishments or if it was in my 20’s when it almost seemed there was nothing that I couldn’t accomplish on the computer and money, honestly, came easily and from so many sources. (I bought a freakin’ plane?!)

Perhaps I haven’t peaked yet?

Who knows…

Anyway, I’m pretty sure my dad peaked while he was still marching and playing snare and it was a pretty important time for him.

It’s the only reason I can think of that he had about a dozen pairs of drum sticks from the 1950’s always somewhat accessible (though almost never used) in our basement for all those years — the ONLY thing I can think of in our house from his youth.

Kinda like my track trophy that I received when I ran a 4:18 mile in 1993 — it’s not on display at my house or anything but I know EXACTLY where it is and don’t plan on ever misplacing it.

The sticks were his trophy.

After he died, I remember seeing a pair of them in the garage of my parents’ new gated community “retirement” house.

I left them there.

I’m not certain why. Maybe cause it was in the garage, literally feet away from where my dad had died just hours earlier.

But after the surreal funeral, just as I was getting ready to go to the airport to head back home, my dad’s older brother came over with a pair of fat Ludwig sticks in his hand to take home.

I’m not sure if they were the same pair that I’d seen in the garage a few days earlier, I assume they were.

He didn’t say much of anything — he didn’t have to.

Anyway, I tucked them into my backpack and hoped like crazy the overly aggressive TSA agents at the airport wouldn’t confiscate them as weapons of mass destruction or something.

For real, I’d have started walking the 1200 miles home if that had happened.

So, sitting right here in front of my keyboard are a couple of 60 year old Ludwig drum sticks.

Ludwig Sticks

They’re not on display or anything — actually mostly buried below mail and empty Capri Sun pouches most of the time — but I know exactly where they are.

Probably always will too.

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Blueprints

ConstructionSo it’s been quite a while since I last mentioned that 3-car garage we were planning on having built.

During my nearly two year long hiatus from the site, we took out another mortgage (you may have noticed on the net worth reports) to get the finances in place, worked with a local architect, and had a survey done of our property to ensure we wouldn’t run into any building permit issues.

That was 2013.

We’re midway through 2015 now and we still haven’t broken ground.

What’s up with that?

For real, with the money to fund such a project readily available (currently sitting in a savings account), you’d think that we could have our old garage torn down and the new one up in it’s place in a matter of months.

And, for the most part, you’d be right.

I could totally make a phone call tomorrow to get one of those Amish barn-raising groups out here prepping the site and have a full blown garage up sometime next week. [or maybe not]

But that’s the thing — I don’t really want a pre-fab (Amish guys in hats with mallets in hand or not, they’re still pre-fabricated) garage.

Especially when we’re talking six figures…

I want something that, well, that I didn’t pick off a sales sheet that only offered three or four options to begin with from a pushy salesman at a big box store.

So we decided to contact an architect and, let me tell you, while there are a lot of residential architects out there, most of them only work on $1M+ projects or entire new construction sub-divisions.

No joke — if you’re not asking them to design a palace made entirely of marble or an entire neighborhood, they’re not interested.

And that’s the pickle we find ourselves in…

Sure, we could go out and hire a general contractor like we did for our interior renovation and get this done but… well, while our contractor did exactly what we asked him to do on that project, in hindsight, I wish we would have hired someone that would have done what we’d asked but ALSO advised us on what we should do too.

The goal isn’t to find someone to build it for us — that’s easy.

The goal is to find someone that’ll guide us towards a building that we want but will also stop us and say, “Actually, it’d be a better idea to put that here so that the this doesn’t get in the way of that.”

You know, things we never even thought of cause, well, we’re not architects. Where does the plumbing fit in? Should there be an outlet there?

Often times, when you work directly with a general contractor, you’re playing the role of architect. I’m a pretty smart dude but I’m certainly not an experienced architect.

If we’re spending this much money on a freakin’ garage, I want it done right…and that’s why it’s taking so long.

The good news is that the old garage hasn’t tipped over yet and, somehow, I’ve managed to keep from spending all of that “garage” money sitting in my savings account.

The downside is that our current architect doesn’t foresee the project happening until 2016.

Hey, maybe I’ll be able to save a little more by then!

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Take the Stairs

StairwellEveryone knows about elevator etiquette.

Seemingly, anyway.

You know, where you let people off before you get on? That type of thing? Even my 4-year old knows…

Bafflingly, there are actually countless people who are apparently unaware that’s how it’s supposed to work.

Whatever, that’s fine by me as I’m a stair climber.

I take the stairs at work at least nine out of ten times — and only take the elevator when it would be socially awkward not to, like, when I enter or leave the building with someone I know.

The unwritten rule in a stairwell is kinda like the rules you should follow on a desolate sidewalk or even a grocery store aisle — you don’t pass people that are moving the same direction as you are and you NEVER ride their heels either.

(This rule, of course, doesn’t apply on busy city sidewalks that are both wide enough to not make it awkward and crowded enough so as the slower of the two parties doesn’t feel at all threatened or hurried.)

So, without fail, every time I’m cruising down the stairs at a pretty decent clip — skipping a stair with each stride — some bonehead on a lower floor enters the stairwell and procedes downward slower than those darn folks that stand stationary on those people movers at the airport…

Ugh?!

For real, people! Those people movers are so that your walking speed is increased dramatically…like almost a 100% increase in speed.

They’re not for standing on!? Argh?!

Anyway, in the stairwell, it drives me bonkers.

I mean, I know they heard my pace in advance as they opened the door so they’re totally aware that now I’m behind held up.

Are they going slow on purpose?

I can never be certain as etiquette requires that I stay back at least one landing but, c’mon, seriously…

If your standard stairway pace can’t beat an elevator down 10 stories or up at least 5 stories, well, take off your FitBit and stay out of the stairwell.

We don’t want you here.

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Net Worth Update

July 2015 Net WorthAnother month, another net worth update.

So, I dropped $1196 overall but that’s almost entirely due to the situation in Greece and the inexplicable reaction to it in the North American markets earlier this week.

If you’re not following, the decline in the value of my 401k is because the markets dropped a little over 2% in reaction to the most recent round financial woes in Greece.

How a country like Greece can effect the markets over here is a discussion for another day…

Aside from that, though, I was pleasantly surprised with what transpired during the month.

See, while I’ve been focusing nearly all of my attention towards paying down the auto loan, I’ve been using my credit cards with, what feels like, reckless abandon and not really paying much back towards them.

Or so I thought…

I expected my credit card balance to be far more than $441 deeper in debt.

Truthfully, I was prepared to be $1k more in the hole.

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OJ Simpson 1994

While driving yesterday, I found it peculiar (and totally awesome) that the radio station I’d settled on played one song after another, after another, after another that I knew all of the words to.

Like, really, it was like my own personal playlist being broadcast on commercial radio.

In order, the last 6 songs I heard were Basketcase by Green Day, Runaround by Blues Traveler, Better Man by Pearl Jam, Because the Night by 10,000 Maniacs, Selling the Drama by Live, and Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots.






By this point, during my second car trip of the day with an awesome soundtrack, I finally noticed that each song was being intro’d with one of those cheezy male radio voices saying “1994”.

Must be some sort of flashback day or something…

Anyway, it was clear that 1994, when I turned 18, was my sweet spot for popular music and that got me thinking…

Am I torturing my kids by making them listen to this dated music?

Putting myself in their shoes, and reminiscing about what my parents made me and my sister listen to in the car, well, it kind of makes sense.

My parents turned 18 in 1965 which totally validates the style of music I was “forced” to listen to growing up, you know, lots of the Everly Brothers, Beatles, Neil Sedaka, Rolling Stones, Elvis, and that sort of thing. Lots of early British Invasion one hit wonder stuff.

Once the music got a little bit more psychedelic, political, and, frankly, weird, they kinda of punched out from the popular music scene much like I did when (crappy) bands like Staind, Tool, and Creed took over the airwaves.

But here’s the thing… in my opinion, my “old” music doesn’t sound dated.

No, it’s not over processed like Beyoncé or Katie Perry and they didn’t use sampling of “apparently” forgotten hit songs to rap on top of back in 1994 but it doesn’t sound old fashioned.

Or does it?

Oh crap, that’s probably exactly what my parents thought in 1994 about Neil Sedaka’s “Calendar Girl”. That song is timeless… Ha!

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I’m really thankful that my popular music “sweet spot” occured when I was in high school from 1990 through 1994.

Really, I was the perfect age (just starting grade 10) when Nirvana came along and “changed” the trajectory of popular music.

Nirvana was never one of my favorites (though I’m pretty certain I own all of their albums besides Bleach) but songs from that era that I know all of words too still hold some weight.

The bands and the solo artists weren’t putting on costumes or makeup like the 80’s hair bands — just wearing and looking a lot like I still do when I go to the mall.

More music and less of a production during that time period, I guess. They didn’t have gimmicks, they just played the songs.

No matter, there isn’t much shame to be had for knowing the words to the songs I’ve listed above. I know I’m not embarrassed.

And that reminds me of a time I took my sister to a college hockey game back in 2009…

She found it downright hilarious when the sound system played Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” and all of the Ugg boot wearing university students sang along proudly.

For real, the students drowned out the sound system in the arena as if it was the oft-played chorus of “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi playing at any sporting event anywhere in the past 30 years.

Being older and wiser, my sister and I both knew that little Miley was a flash in the pan and that someday these kids would be horrified to be labelled as a “fan” and probably even pretend that this day and their actions at this specific hockey game never actually happened.

And as my sister continued to poke fun at the situation as though she lacked similar skeletons — she’s 5 years younger than me — I uttered the band name “N’Sync”.

Bye, bye, bye.

Conversation over.

For my age bracket, there just isn’t a comparison…and I’m really thankful for that.

And before anyone brings up my love for “The Sign” by Ace of Base (released at the end of 1993), well, that song is awesome

PERIOD.

[The 10,000 Maniacs MTV Unplugged album with the “Because the Night” cover was actually released in 1993 and not 1994 but that’s ancient history, right?]

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Red vs. BlueHere in Connecticut, the mostly Democrat legislature recently passed a budget and sent it on to our governor, also a Democrat, to sign off on.

All hell broke loose.

The Republicans balked that the “new” taxes were too high and that it was terrible, devastating even, for businesses that operated within the state.

Big companies like General Electric and Aetna jumped on the bandwagon criticizing the additional taxes they’d have to “apparently” now have to pay.

General Electric even threatened relocating. Gasp!

Of course, some investigative reporter types soon pointed out that the “new” business taxes they’d been lamenting were taxes those companies were exempt from anyway as a result of getting special tax credits as incentive to do business in Connecticut.

Didn’t matter though — the Republicans had gotten their message on the airwaves first and they continued to dominate the headlines.

Connecticut taxes are going up and it will be crippling to everyone and all of the employers will leave the state.

Mass hysteria.

Truth of the matter is — unless you’re making over $500k per year, chances are, your taxes for 2014 will actually go down.

Yep, 99% of us will be paying less tax but we’re freaking out that we’ll be paying more…and losing our jobs in the process.

Love how that works. All mis-truths.

Political mis-truths.

So, with all of the uproar, the governor called a special session to amend the already voted on and approved budget.

The Democrats made some concessions with the Republican minority and put together a “new” budget. It all got done last night.

This morning’s headline — from the Republicans in state government…

“State is Destined for a Shortfall”

You can’t make this stuff up.

So…the Republicans originally claimed that the tax increases were out of line, got the public all riled up and forced the Democrat majority to make concessions, which they did, and now the Republican’s claim the budget — the one they essentially neutered and approved — will lead to a shortfall in the state’s coffers.

I despise that this is how the American government operates.

It’s ludicrous that the Republicans are trying to have it both ways and putting the Democrats at fault…in both scenarios.

They misled the public and business leaders at the onset in an attempt to smear the primarily Democrat budget.

Then, when they got exactly what they’d wanted on a do-over, they immediately proclaimed that the new budget was inadequate. Worse than before, even.

Since the current governor is a Democrat, he owns it even though the Republican minority is who essentially wrote the final version.

It’s not a lean left or lean right type of thing.

Both parties play the same game.

In this specific case, the Democrats pulled a 180 degree turn due to politically induced public pressure… Basically flip flopping from a ‘Yes’ all the way to a ‘No’.

The Republicans claim the the budget was 100% garbage before the flip and continues to be 100% garbage after the flop.

There is apparently no middle ground.

But that’s the thing, in reality, both version of the budget were a middle ground.

In something as complicated and widespread as a state budget, you’re going to win some battles and you’re going to lose some battles. Weigh your options and hammer out something that pseudo works for every one.

That’s exactly what happens in the government.

Then, they get in front of microphones and cameras and proclaim that, if they’re the not the party in power, that the legislation (proposed or otherwise) is 100% wrong.

The only thing that’s 100% wrong are their claims.

It’s no wonder this country is so divided.

We really need another party…or ten along side the Republicans and the Democrats.

You know, like the other countries on the planet that already have universal healthcare, free education, “working” gun laws, and politicians that know they need to work with others to get things done.

Sure, they have higher taxes than us (which is what it always seems to come back to in the USA) but guess what?

They have more services too.

Services that we’re currently paying for out of our pockets…and paying more for than we would if it were built into our taxes.

Sounds pretty great, right? Fewer things to pay for and more money in your pocket.

Yes, your taxes would go up… considerably.

But guess what? You’d still come out ahead.

Most of the world has already figured this out.

The US is too stubborn to even consider it.

Oh crap, I’m starting to sound like I’m supporting Bernie Sanders for President.

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Financial Advisor

SpellingToday, while writing an email, that little red line showed up under the word “advisor”.

I looked at it.

I looked at it some more.

Hmmmm, that looks right to me.

And then I started to doubt myself and subsequently forgot how to sepll htings ntirley.

So here’s what I found out:

Adviser and advisor are both accepted spellings of the noun meaning one who advises or counsels. There is no difference between them. But adviser, the older version, is listed as the primary spelling in most dictionaries, and it is about five times as common as advisor in current news publications from throughout the English-speaking world.

In the U.S. and Canada, advisor is commonly used in official job titles, but adviser is still generally preferred over advisor in North America, and advisor is only marginally more common in American and Canadian English than in other varieties of English.

Um, okay.

Maybe I’ve been living under a rock or perhaps it’s because I pretty much only see the word used as an “official job title” but I’m all but certain that I’ve never seen it spelled “adviser”.

Like, ever.

And they say it’s the more common spelling?

Please…

I’m going to go ask my walking 6-year old thesaurus.

Can You Dig It?

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