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Movies

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Johnny Lawrence

I don’t watch a lot of television so forgive me if you’ve already seen this…

So, I saw this Buffalo Wild Wings commercial for the first time last night and, well, I hit the rewind button to watch it again.

Twice.

Okay, maybe it was three times.

Whatever. I thought it was awesome, obviously, and it’s likely due to the fact that I’m pretty much the exact age required to instantly grasp the reference. (I was heading into the 3rd grade when Karate Kid came out.)

Thankfully, for my sake, I can’t think of a time in my life where I was the prime target of a Johnny Lawrence type.

I got picked on by a prick (a year younger) named Chris Knell in 8th grade briefly but that ended far worse for him than it did for me.

Hope you enjoyed having to switch high schools as a minor-niner, buddy…

And while I may have sported some Johnny Lawrence hair in the early 1990’s I can only think of a single instance, in high school, where I could possibly have been perceived as a Johnny Lawrence.

Man, I was mean to that guy…

He totally deserved it, though.

For real.

I’d bet Chris Knell is still an a-hole.

So, wait, even though I looked like Johnny, I now think that might make me more of a Daniel LaRusso type, you know, when he beat Johnny in the tournament, right?

Yeah, I’m the good guy. High school is confusing.

Anyway, while a nostalgic commercial like this strikes me — nearing 40 years of age (OMG!) — I’m quite certain that the under-30 crowd (which you’d think would be the chain’s main target), you know, having been born AFTER the movie came out, would be like, “Um… I don’t get it…”

And speaking of Buffalo Wild Wings, have you tried their Mango Habanero wings?

Holy crap — my eyes are burning just reliving the time I made the mistake of putting one (or 12) in my mouth…

– – – – – –

PIAC Addendum

And speaking of commericals I’ve just recently seen, I can’t get enough of this Yoplait commercial either.

I mean, I could watch this lady stomp across the screen all day and I have no idea why.

I think I’ll have a yogurt. Or 12.

1 2302

Who is this?How could I not review this movie?

I truly apologize to those who’ve been awaiting this update for weeks now but I have a confession…

I didn’t go and see this movie.

You could tell it was terrible the minute they announced that they were making it a half dozen or so years ago.

And who’s the dude with the side burns and the skirt?

A new character? Sheesh…

They jumped the shark right out of the gate.

Anyway, two blue thumbs down on this one.

Worst movie of the summer.

Possibly even the decade.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Now that that’s out of the way, I have to offer a big smurfy THANK YOU to Angie.

She’s a self proclaimed psycho stalker that’s been reading and commenting here on PIAC almost since the beginning.

She, along with her kids, stepped up to the plate (when McDonalds really should have) and went above and beyond when they immediately mailed my son Duncan two of the McDonald’s Happy Meal smurfs that we so coveted but were unable to obtain.

They were even un-opened Smurfs. Most impressive.

Thanks soooo much!

Thanks so much from all four of us — we really appreciated it. I wish I could accurately describe to you how excited Duncan was to receive his own mail…with Smurfs inside!

Does it get any better than that?

I think not.

You’re awesome.

And no need to worry — Baker and Jokey are in good hands!

2 2582

I read an article today about movies with upcoming sequels that probably shouldn’t have sequels.

The article itself was terrible — you know, just one of those articles with a bunch of single sentence paragraphs.

Oh wait, that’s a perfect description of this place…

Anyway, it referenced the movie Die Hard. I was unaware that another sequel was in the works (apparently one is with Bruce Willis on board) and, from a personal standpoint, they probably should have stopped making Die Hard movies half way through the second one. That’s about where I lost interest in John McClane.

But the original from 1988 is one of those few movies that acts as an anchor when I’m channel surfing.

I mean, there could be less than 10 minutes left until it’s over and I’ll still stop to watch.

It’s that good.

And that got me thinking, will Duncan and Henrik like Die Hard the way I do or will it be one of those “stupid old movies that dad likes…”

I was in 7th grade when Die Hard came out. I’m not certain if I was in the target demographic — probably not — but it certainly stuck with me.

The movie came out 21 years before either of my kids were born. Applying that to myself, can I think of a movie my dad would watch over and over that came out 21 years before I was born? One that I also enjoyed?

Off hand, no.

The first thing that comes to mind for me when I think of 1955 is, sadly, the first Back to the Future movie. Another of my favorites but not really applicable here since it came out in 1985.

A quick google search reveals that Rebel without a Cause came out in 1955. I’ve certainly heard of the movie but I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen it. Don’t recall my dad ever watching it on the couch either.

Marilyn Monroe’s Seven Year Itch came out in 1955 too. I had to watch that movie in high school (for reasons that I can’t recall) and thought it was fairly entertaining.

Can I imagine my dad saying the same thing?

Um, no.

The only old movies that I can think of that would instantaneously get my dad to stop surfing were Ben-Hur (1959), The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966), and Planet of the Apes (1968).

Ben-Hur is pretty close to 1955. That said, I thought it sucked — along with all of the ancient Greek and Roman clone movies that followed. I think my dad just enjoyed any movie that could boast a cast of thousands with a few chariots thrown in.

It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I realized what a great movie The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly truly was even though Clint Eastwood is quite clearly one of the worst actors in history.

I vividly remember in high school rolling my eyes each time I’d catch my dad watching it on a Sunday afternoon, like, every single Sunday afternoon.

Seriously, to this day, I think that movie is on television at least once per week. At least. I catch pieces of it all the time.

Still, though, I can’t claim to have enjoyed that one alongside my dad either.

And who could forget the Planet of the Apes? I couldn’t stand Charlton Heston but I liked this movie and all of it’s sequels right up until Marky Mark and Helena Bonham-Carter ruined the entire franchise a few years back.

Now these were movies that we’d watch together. While I remember the plotline of original the best, I think it was one of the goofy sequels (or the tv series?) where they’re in modern day San Francisco (or some other such place) that I remember most fondly.

Sadly, outside of the original or the Marky Mark remake, you never see these on television.

Eitherway, those movies (the sequels) are only a few years older than I am — not a couple of decades older. They don’t really apply.

So, will my kids treat Die Hard (or Star Wars, or Back to the Future, or The Goonies, or Red Dawn, or Rocky IV, or Space Balls — all 20+ years old now) the same way I treated Ben-Hur?

Man, I *hope* not.

Here’s to hoping Angie is right!

5 2647

Ignoring the very favorable net worth updates of late, and just concentrating on my spending, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve just been spinning my wheels lately…

I know that I can get by on as little as $2500 per month — I did it in April — so why have I been so far over every month since?

September and October will be different — I’ll calling it right now.

Here’s how August shaped up:

  • $2170.00 : Mortage
  • $897.20 : Allstate (Auto Insurance)
  • $477.00 : College Hockey Season Tickets
  • $347.99 : Hockey Jerseys
  • $138.20 : Electricity
  • $116.48 : Business Expenses
  • $109.93 : Water/Sewer
  • $109.26 : Cable/Internet
  • $104.93 : Hilton Hotel
  • $85.71 : Amazon
  • $85.00 : DMV
  • $60.00 : Cash
  • $55.09 : Gas
  • $49.36 : Phone
  • $36.81 : Natural Gas
  • $8.50 : ING Direct

The list doesn’t look very long but it adds up to a sobering $4851.46!?

So one month after spending nearly $8k, I “improved” and only spent almost $5k… I guess it’s progress but, well, it’s still crazy?!

To my credit, for the second consecutive time, I paid my entire auto insurance premium up front just to get it out of the way.

The $477 season ticket expenditure was less than we spent last year because we didn’t reserve seats for the women’s team this year. My wife just couldn’t get into the women’s hockey thing… Understandable.

I’ll still go with Duncan and buy tickets at the door though.

Eitherway, this is pretty much our entire winter entertainment budget paid for, again, up-front.

Business expenses are what they are. They seem a little high to me each and every month but I’m still making a hefty profit so I’m not going to dwell on them.

The water bill is quarterly. The DMV bill was for my car registration and I think that’s an every-other-year type of thing.

The Hilton Hotel is pre-payment for one of the rooms we’ll be staying in when we go to that family reunion that I mentioned a few weeks ago. I booked a few more hotels in advance but, for whatever reason, they haven’t hit my card yet.

The Amazon spree was for a bunch of random things I’ve been wanting to buy for a long time but never have — sort of an extension of my online shopping spree last month.

For $85.71 ($22 of which was shipping — I HATE Amazon for that…) I picked up a couple 4GB CF cards for my cameras, a Weezer t-shirt, a couple of Canadian flag stickers, and a DVD of “The Gods Must Be Crazy“.

I plan to torture Duncan with all of my favorite kid-friendly movies someday. Already made him watch “Batteries Not Included” and “Teen Wolf“.

The last purchase that needs a little explanation is that $8.50 charge from ING Direct. I bought a t-shirt from their online shop. It’s pretty nice too — and they didn’t charge anything for shipping!

0 2116

I hate snakes.No joke – this was the lead story all day yesterday and much of the day today in my neck of the woods…

A 20-year-old driver told police his baby pet snakes are to blame for a multi-car crash he caused on Main Street Monday morning.

Angel Rolon lost control of his SUV as he and a passenger scrambled to catch the two snakes, he told police. He said they escaped from his pants pockets and slithered down near the gas and brake pedals, police said.

Rolon is charged with reckless driving, failure to drive in proper lane, driving while being distracted and driving without a license.

At least three other cars were involved in the crash, reported to police at 10:20 a.m. Rolan’s SUV sustained heavy front end damage and rolled over onto the driver’s side.

Animal control responded to the scene but did not find the snakes, police said.

Okay, I’m not sure where to begin…

But on the subject of snakes in odd situations, has anyone else seen the safe-for-television re-dubbed version of Snakes on a Plane on USA or TNT?

“I’ve had it with these monkey-fightin’ snakes on this Monday-Friday plane!”

So, anyway, I hope the police inquired as to why anyone would put some monkey-fightin’ snakes in their Monday/Friday pockets and then go for a monkey-fightin’ drive during monkey-fightin’ rush hour?

Seriously…

And I thought driving while texting was dangerous…

    3 2462
    Slumdog Millionaire

    Don't mess with Jamal.So my wife and I “rented” the Slumdog Squarepants this morning and watched it this afternoon.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, the hype surrounding the movie died out months ago but today, while grocery shopping, we made the spontaneous decision to check the selection in the RedBox machine.

    We don’t frequent the movies — too expensive — but at the same time, we like to be “in the know” when it comes to, well, pop culture and entertainment news.

    See, I know that Kris won American Idol. I also know that Shawn won Dancing with the Stars.

    It only seemed fitting that we actually see the movie that just won 8 Academy Awards… including the big mamma jamma, Best Picture.

    Now I don’t know about you, but I think that to be nominated for best picture, your movie should have some top notch acting in it.

    This one did not.

    The acting wasn’t horrible, like a soap opera on Telemundo or something, but it wasn’t exactly great.

    I think the best actor in the whole movie was little Ayush Mahesh Khedekar… and he’s not even an actor!?

    The acting was right up there with, hmmmm… Rocky? Yep, somehow that won best picture the year that I was born. Yo, Adrienne!!!

    In fact, looking over the movies that have won best picture since then, well, see for yourself…

    Best Picture Winners of the Past 32 Years

    • 1976: Rocky – How did this win? Seriously…
    • 1977: Annie Hall – This somehow beat out Star Wars…
    • 1978: The Deer Hunter – I thought this was a bad video game?
    • 1979: Kramer vs. Kramer – Never actually sat down to watch this one…
    • 1980: Ordinary People – Missed this one too… It sounds kinda boring, no?
    • 1981: Chariots of Fire – Can you say overrated?
    • 1982: Gandhi – Yawn.
    • 1983: Terms of Endearment – This terrible movie came from the executive producer of the Simpsons… I suppose this movie is alright, I just don’t like Shirley MacLain.
    • 1984: Amadeus – I often confuse the movie with the Falco video. Both were pretty terrible — even for the 1980’s.
    • 1985: Out of Africa – Worst. Movie. Ever.
    • 1986: Platoon – Seems that once in a great while, the Academy rewards a movie with lots of machine guns. I can totally respect that.
    • 1987: The Last Emperor – I’ve seen this movie at least 8 times. Each time I think that something might actually happen in it. I’m always disappointed.
    • 1988: Rain Man – I’m a rarity. I hate this movie. Tom cruise is, well, Tom Cruise. Dustin Hoffman is annoying. Really, this movie is just an upper crust Bill & Ted movie — and they won an award?
    • 1989: Driving Miss Daisy – Wow… I mean, really? A movie about driving an old wealthy woman around was the best movie of the year? There weren’t even machine guns in this movie… Really, if Jessica Tandy had an uzi, well, then I might understand the Oscar.
    • 1990: Dances with Wolves – I enjoyed this one. But only because I slept through that whole middle section.
    • 1991: The Silence of the Lambs – I guess this was a good movie. Like Shirley MacLaine, I’m really turned off by Jodie Foster (it’s her voice), though I’m not sure who could have played the character better…
    • 1992: Unforgiven – Sorry Clint, you reached the pinnacle of your career in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly back in 1966. Sure, it was poorly dubbed, but it was better than this disaster of a movie.
    • 1993: Schindler’s List – Who doesn’t enjoy a really good Holocaust movie? Really though, when it comes to modern movies shot in black and white, of which I can only think of two, Young Frankenstein is the better option.
    • 1994: Forrest Gump – This was a good movie. A little campy, at times, but definitely worthy of the Oscar.
    • 1995: Braveheart – I thought Babe (the pig movie) should have taken the crown in 1995 but Braveheart is a pretty good movie to sleep on the couch to when it’s on cable (seemingly every single Sunday afternoon).
    • 1996: The English Patient – I haven’t seen this one. See, I’m the type that judges a book by it’s cover. I also judge a movie by it’s title. Or poster. Needless to say, this one doesn’t interest me at all.
    • 1997: Titanic – People have asked a million times, “Why would you want to see this — you already know the ending…” True, but this was a pretty good movie. Billy Zane’s eyebrows bother me though.
    • 1998: Shakespeare in Love – This one was a little too artsy for my palette. Saving Private Ryan totally should have won based on the first 10-minutes of the movie.
    • 1999: American Beauty – I just didn’t like this one. It was okay, I guess, but worthy of Best Picture? I think not.
    • 2000: Gladiator – Now that’s what I’m talking about…
    • 2001: A Beautiful Mind – And then Russell Crowe goes from a hero to a zero. Lord of the Rings was better…
    • 2002: ChicagoIn my eyes, Catherine Zeta Jones can do pretty much anything she likes and it’s awesome, but this movie/musical wasn’t all that great.
    • 2003: Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King – The worst of the three movies wins the big prize. Go figure. I suspect that they were just making up for their mistake in 2001.
    • 2004: Million Dollar Baby – Clint, you’re too old. Hilary, you’re ugly. And I don’t think I’m the only one who kinda feels sick to my stomach whenever women decide to become boxers. Years ago, I think it may have been the Holyfield/Tyson ear chomping fight, I remember thinking that the female bout on the undercard would be as cool the main event. Then, while watching it, I concluded that it was far more disturbing than entertaining.
    • 2005: Crash – Really? Brendan Fraser and Ludacris? I thought Brokeback Mountain was the big movie of 2005. I was wrong.
    • 2006: The Departed – Leonardo DiCaprio playing a tough guy just doesn’t sit will with me. It’s as if the Backstreet Boys re-united as a thrash metal band or something… Leo’s a good actor, I like him in most of his movies — I’m not indicating that he’s of the Boy Band mold. He’s just not the right guy for a mob movie.
    • 2007: No Country for Old Men – Sorry, movies about drug deals don’t really give me that warm all over feeling. I never saw this one.
    • 2008: Slumdog Squarepants – Um, you’re reading my review right now…

    Even among all of those less-than-glowing reviews, Slumdog Squarepants ranks towards the bottom.

    Anyway, I made it through the entire movie without losing interest or falling asleep, so it wasn’t all bad. (The subtitles were much too small though…and that gave me a bit of a headache.)

    It just seemed a little bit to, I dunno, Tarantino-esque with all of the fragmented flashbacks that were often pretty violent.

    The movie was trumped as the “feel-good” movie of the year — I dunno about that. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone that hasn’t seen it yet but, for me, without the big dance number at the end (that was so out of place, it wasn’t even funny), I can’t say that my spirits were lifted any.

    In fact, I’m certain that my opinion of India has dropped a few notches.

    I’m sure their tourism board is thrilled.

    And do you think the US version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” operates the same way behind the scenes? It’s almost intriguing to think of Regis Philbin as a ruthless tyrant…

    That might actually make a pretty cool movie now that I think about it…

    But seriously, the movies that win “Best Picture” should be held to a higher standard. They should all be really great movies that stand the test of time and can be watched over and over and over and, well, I don’t think Slumdog is one of those movies.

    But, hey, for $1.06, I can hardly complain…

    – – – – – – – –

    For the record, we also Redbox’ed the latest Batman movie (this overdue pregnancy thing is keeping us cooped up at home) so I can rip it apart all over again.

    2 2134

    The Dark KnightBatman this, Batman that…

    Where’d all of this hype come from? Who’s responsible? And how many times can they make the same movie over again and still generate this much hype?

    I don’t understand it.

    I can’t claim to have seen the latest movie or even the previous 3 Batman movies.

    That one with Danny DeVito as the Penguin sealed it for me — Batman movies from there on out would a complete waste of time.

    (Perhaps I should have more accurately said that Tim Burton movies are a waste of time… Waste of money too…)

    The original Batman television series from the 1960’s was easily the best. Even the 1966 full length movie ranks right up there, even though it just felt like a really long episode.

    Adam West was the best Batman ever. No doubt in my mind. He made the character fun.

    Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.

    To this day, while watching Family Guy, I can’t help but think of Batman every time Mayor West speaks. Adam West didn’t just play Batman four decades ago. Adam West *is* Batman.

    I remember when the first (but actually the second) Batman movie came out in 1989. You know, the one with Kim Basinger?

    I was pretty excited (there was HUGE hype then too!), but then disappointed to see the, well, new and supposedly improved Batman. First off, his Batmobile sucked.

    And since when did Batman wear all black?

    Where did those washboard abs come from?

    Why wasn’t anything labeled in the Batcave?

    And really, who decided that Batman should now where more eyeliner than a crack whore? Tim Burton?

    And, lastly, was it just me or was it hard not to just keep seeing Mr. Mom or Beetlejuice in that movie?

    In the end, I thought Michael Keaton was an alright Batman. A terrible Bruce Wayne though. Jack Nicholson was also a decent Joker. Not as great as Cesar Romero, but still, pretty good.

    I watched the 1989 movie this past weekend on ABC Family. At the same time, TNT was showing “Batman and Robin”. See what I mean about the hype? You couldn’t escape it this past weekend.

    Remember when movie hype actually lasted for almost and entire summer? I’m thinking about movies like Independence Day, Terminator 2, and even Ghostbusters…

    Every fast food restaurant had some sort of collectible glass available, I mean, the movie was a big deal. There were arcade games that were actually good — not just commercials for the movie. They even made action figures that people actually wanted. I don’t know — it was like they actually put some effort into marketing the movie.

    Now though, as much as they’ve been making of this Dark Knight movie lately, in another week, it’ll be old news. No one will care.

    Some Martin Lawrence in drag movie will come along and knock it off the top and the poor Dark Knight will be forgotten, the action figures will be in dollar stores across the country, the related video game will be in the bargain bin at BestBuy, and Heath Ledger will go back to just being that guy from the gay cowboy movie that OD’ed or something.

    Anyone remember that Indiana Jones movie that came out earlier this summer with much fanfare?

    Yeah, I didn’t think so…

    Of course, this is all just my opinion.

    I could be wrong.

    Can You Dig It?

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