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Monthly Archives: March 2009

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Today was one of those weird semi-holidays at work. I’d estimate that 50% of the male employees took the day off — and then another 25% left at noon…

I’d bet that tomorrow is much the same.

It happens every year around this time.

To blame? NCAA basketball.

Everyone, it seems, is all interested in the first round of March Madness and then, by next week, all but the most diehard sports fans have had about enough of college basketball.

I fall into that latter category. I could care less — I worked a full day today and I have full intentions of doing the same tomorrow.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t fill out a bracket and kiss $5 goodbye this morning.

I don’t expect to win. I never do — especially when I’m betting on something I know very little about.

My final four has Louisville, Purdue, Duke, and North Carolina with North Carolina defeating Louisville in the final.

Now you might be wondering, hey, isn’t Brainy blogging from Connecticut? How come he didn’t choose the UConn Huskies, you know, the top seed in the West, to make an appearance in the Final Four?

Well, I didn’t pick the hometown UConn Huskies to go very far at all…

(In fact, I had them losing to BYU in the second round — an impossibility now that Texas A&M has already defeated BYU… D’oh!)

My reasoning is *mostly* personal.

It’s because I think their coach, Jim Calhoun, is an arrogant arsehole but also because it’s become apparent over the years that most of players on the team are nothing more than common criminals with little desire to actually graduate from the school I’m paying for them to attend for free.

Yeah — not a fan of UConn Men’s basketball, their rap sheet, or their 33% graduation rate.

They’re losers.

They don’t deserve to win.

– – – – – – –

Canadian Fun Fact: Like ice hockey, basketball was created by Canadian James Naismith. Unlike ice hockey, Canadians by-and-large have very little interest in the game.

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My Cell Phone!This morning, Finally Frugal had nothing but positive things to say about their switch from Verizon Wireless to Virgin Mobile.

I too made that exact same switch back in October of 2007, following Frank from the Happy Rock’s lead.

And you know what?

I’ve got nothing but great things to say too…

My “service” hasn’t been any different since my days with Verizon but my bill certainly has — to the tune of a $900 per year savings.

Here’s how it works…

Every three months, I’m required to “top-up” my account. It’s simply a $21.20 bill that I have automatically billed to a credit card.

Yes, $21.20 for THREE months. Not per month, but THREE whole months.

My cell phone bill is $84.80 per year. Think about that the next time you pay your monthly cell phone bill.

The best part is that my $21.20 payment isn’t forfeited at the end of the three months.

I suppose it’s like those rollover plans that AT&T advertises on television — my Verizon plan never offered that (and cost more too!).

Looking back, Verizon was horrible.

I sent them forty something dollars each month and if I didn’t use the $40 worth of airtime, well, tough luck. I put up with that for years. It was stupid.

So I’m due to “top-up” with Virgin later this month, you know, for another 3 months of service. With all of the roll over from my previous payments, it will put my “balance” at over $120.

Obviously I don’t use my phone very often (which might be why this plan has worked out so well for me) but with $120 worth of airtime available for use, well, let’s just say that I don’t have to be concerned with running out of minutes.

And that peace of mind is only costing me a smidgen over $7 per month.

I’d bet most folks are paying 6 or 7 times as much per month.

Just something to think about if you’re looking to cut your costs.

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Manute BolThis past Sunday while doing some baby shopping I saw someone that I recognized instantly.

I’ve known that he lived nearby for years and years now but this was the first time that I actually saw him. That might not sound so unusual — there are millions of people “nearby” — but how many people are over seven and a half feet tall?

Yep, my wife and I walked right by Manute Bol.

Now I was never a basketball fan growing up but even I knew who he was — if only because of his height.

The minute we turned the corner and I saw his silhouette down the street I instantly knew it was him. My wife was just kinda, “Yeah, whatever…”

But that height was unmistakable.

Still quite a distance away, though there were no other people between us, my wife quietly asked me if I’d like to get my picture taken with him, you know, using her phone but I declined thinking he’d much prefer to be left alone — being a celebrity and all.

When I was a teenager I once passed by Wayne Gretzky on an escalator when the LA Kings were in town. I was going up, he was going down.

I made eye contact and without even saying anything, the look on his face said, “Please don’t make a scene, kid.”

I didn’t. But I also never forgot the experience.

In fact, I probably only remember it so well because I didn’t make a scene, or get his autograph, or even simply shake his hand. We just exchanged glances and went on our merry way.

So as we get closer, Manute is just standing there on the corner digging in his pockets apparently just enjoying the nice weather we’re finally having.

Then, as we got closer, he started to hobble towards us. Not towards us — as in approaching us directly, but he began heading in the direction we were coming from.

With my Gretzky experience in mind, I looked up and smiled a little closed mouth smile at him as we passed by like ordinary people.

As we turned another corner my wife said, “That’s really sad. He seemed like a lonely homeless man.”

Thinking about it, she was right.

I began to wonder if I *should* have asked to have my picture taken with him.

I’ll be honest — in this specific neighborhood, just being a black guy is enough to get some unusual stares. Being over seven feet tall would likely get you that much more though I’d imagine when you’re that tall, you’d receive some odd stares pretty much anywhere.

Most people on the street that day probably thought he was some sort of freak.

And that has me second guessing myself days later, you know, maybe he would have taken some pleasure in the fact that I knew who he was and that I’d really appreciate having my picture taken with him.

Not because he’s a wicked tall freak of nature but because he’s Manute Bol.

That dude used to be famous.

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Julius CaesarSo I failed in my goal to spend less than $2500 this month.

Yeah, we’re only halfway through the month and I’ve already surpassed that number.

Even worse, my wife paid for the epic birthing class so I can’t even use that as an excuse.

Really, though, I don’t have a good excuse. I just spend too much.

I’ll save all of the details for another end of the month spending report but I’ll give you a hint as to what put me over the limit so early.

Taxes.

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Travis the Chimp and his victim, Charla NashIt’s the big news story here in Connecticut now that the “Travis the Chimp” hoopla has finally subsided.

It always exciting when your own neck of the woods makes the national news but, of late, most of the news recently has been rather embarrassing for Connecticut.

(Before the chimp attack, it was this hit-and-run.)

For the record, no, I do not personally know anyone that has a pet chimpanzee. That’s even weird for Connecticut.

But now the focus is on Jerry Springer.

See, our governor Jodi Rell, who has always had through-the-roof approval numbers (easy when your predecessor went directly to jail) but is actually a horrible governor, comes up with terrible ideas on an almost weekly basis.

And usually a week too late.

For instance, it’s damn near impossible to have a Chimpanzee as a pet in Connecticut now. Last month, though, sure, if you wanted one, you could get one if you knew the right people.

Basically, she’s a reactionary Governor with little foresight.

If there’s a big car accident, she’ll propose widening the road. Cost is no issue. Doesn’t matter that the driver was drunk — if the road had been wider, it would have saved lives. Yeah, okay…

Really, that could be her legacy… She made the roads wider to accommodate drunk drivers.

Oh, and she added runaway truck ramps because of the mountainous terrain here in Connecticut. (For the record, we have rolling hills, NOT mountains — but we have runaway trunk ramps just like Colorado does… Thanks Jodi! Those were well-spent taxpayer dollars!)

Anyway, under her rule, the State of Connecticut has offered HUGE tax incentives in an attempt to turn Connecticut into the Hollywood East. I’m not making this stuff up…

Seriously, “Hollywood East”. Yeah…

You’re laughing, right?

Anyway, the first big catch is the Jerry Springer show. Now, I’m no Hollywood expert but I do know that Jerry Springer is filmed in Chicago.

So we undercut Hollywood Mid-West?

And all we got was Jerry Springer?

Seems Connecticut was aiming a little low…

Oprah? Hello?

Anyway, right now, this “acquisition”, if you could call it that, has everyone all excited about the additional tax revenue that will be coming to our state.

I think they’re wearing rose-coloured glasses.

First off, the tax incentives offered — and their willingness to pick up and move to Connecticut even though Jerry is fighting it — probably means that they won’t be paying ANY taxes.

That, and on a personal note, I’d much prefer it if the scheduled guests weren’t staying in hotels in my backyard.

Seriously.

Based on what I’ve seen on the Jerry Springer Show, many of them are more frightening than a rampaging chimp.

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PiSo what did you do to celebrate?

Back in university, being among nerdy engineers pretty much 24/7, March 14 was always a date we had circled on the calendar.

While most university students anticipated March 17, we engineers did most of our drinking on March 14 and quizzed each other on how many digits we’d memorized.

Off the cuff, right now, I can still ring off “3.1415926535”.

Yeah, looking back, we were pretty nerdy.

Fast forward 13 years…

Today my wife and I spent Pi day at an 8-hour birthing class and, let me tell you, it was an experience.

We were the first couple there so we got to pick where we sat — something that’s usually a plus until you realize that it also means that you won’t get a chance to pick who you sit next to.

As couples began to arrive, a 2-chair “courtesy seat” rule was being observed, but as the room began to fill up, it became apparent that soon everyone would have to be sitting next to a stranger.

Of the 12 couples in attendance, I’m happy to report that the two couples that chose to sit on either side of us happened to be the two couples that I personally would have chosen to sit next to myself if given the chance.

They were both, I dunno, clean, modern, attractive, and personable.

That sounds really harsh, but really, I’m not sure I’d even be comfortable shaking hands with some of these strangers.

At the start, much like what I imagine an AA meeting would be like, we had to introduce ourselves (Brainy & H-Bear), say who our doctor was (the dude at THIS hospital), and when our due date was (May 19).

And then we had to describe what we “felt” in one word.

Huh?

Oh, this is going to be one of those “talk about my feelings” classes, isn’t it?

Ugh.

I chose “Anxious”.

My wife chose “Reward”.

Hmmmm… To the others in the room, those responses probably made it seem as if we’re a terrible couple.

Anyway, we watched a couple of movies much too graphic to describe here and as I scoped out the room, I realized that I actually knew two of the people?! Crazy!

If anything, since pretty much everyone in the room had the same doctor and they’ve all been going to doctor appointments on a pretty regular basis, I thought it’d be my wife that would recognize a few faces but, nope, it was me.

One guy was a guy who used to work with me over a decade ago. He got fired because he smelled.

No joke. It was a hygiene issue that cost him his job. Thank GOD he didn’t recognize me or, worse, sit next to me. I did my best not to make eye contact.

The other person that I knew actually was sitting next to me. The minute she walked in the room with her husband I immediately thought, “Oh, please let them sit next to me… Please let them sit next to me…” and then they did.

She seemed really familiar but it took me probably two hours to figure it out. I knew that I knew her from somewhere but I just couldn’t place it.

When it finally hit me, I realized that I went to high school with her brother (and her too, but she’s a good 4 years younger). She didn’t recognize me or maybe she did but either way, we didn’t say anything to one another.

So after a bit of a lecture and some gross movies, we broke out the padded mats and got on the floor.

The instructor turned down the lights and started playing this odd harp music as an eerie female voice asked us to “Picture a blue screen in the sky…” Um, okay?

This went on for a good ten minutes or so before I had to stifle my giggles.

Seriously, imagine 24 fully clothed people lying on the floor in a dark room with harp music playing and some soothing voice from above talking about an imaginary “screen in the sky.”

It all felt very, I dunno, cult-ish to me. I felt like asking when the comet was scheduled to stop by and pick us up.

After that “exercise” we had this thing that the instructor said was like a mad-lib. And it was. You know, those things were you fill in the blank words with wacky adjectives or swear words?

But the blanks weren’t where wacky adjectives would fit.

Here are a few examples:

The top of the uterus is called the ____________.
The bottom of the uterus is called the ____________.

Now, I don’t know about you, but the words that I’d guess for these two aren’t words that I’m willing to use on this blog.

They’re also not words I’m willing to utter in the company of strangers. Sure, they’re not officially swear words but they may as well be. And, as I found out, my words were wrong too.

Bottom line, mad libs are fun. This was not.

After a quick lunch break, we got a tour of the maternity wing of the hospital.

That was pretty neat.

I’d never done that sort of thing before so it was pretty valuable to get to actually see it before we’re there for real.

Then we went back to the cult-meeting room. We got back on the floor and the harp music kicked in — this time accompanied by some artificial flute noise. Yeah, it was deep.

The voice from above tried to “get us in the mood” again for some sort of out-of-body experience or something and then some breathing techniques.

I couldn’t help but wonder how many of the guys (and the girls too, actually) were lying there looking at the ceiling wondering why they were wasting their whole Saturday at this class and if anything could be more ridiculous than acting like a cult member waiting for a comet to arrive.

I couldn’t have been the only one having those thoughts – though I heard no giggling.

At the conclusion we watched another graphic movie before we were awarded with a graduation certificate. Thankfully there wasn’t a test at the end.

But in all seriousness, I can’t say that I learned anything new.

Maybe it’s just me, but the breathing techniques were exactly the same as what my track coach taught me in high school. It’s exactly what we did on the track. It’s exactly what we did in the weight room. I’m pretty sure that would be the case for anyone that took high school sports relatively seriously.

Guys, if it were possible for us to give birth, we’ve already got the breathing part down.

Really, especially for any long distance runners out there that haven’t taken a birthing class — it’s all going to be really familiar… until the harp music kicks in. Then it gets weird.

In the end though, I’m glad we went.

The most valuable part was definitely the hospital tour (which is something you can do on its own separate from a birthing class) but I’m still glad that we sat through all of the goofy movies and breathing techniques.

I may not have learned a single thing today (besides what the top of the uterus is *really* called) but at least I don’t feel like I’m missing anything either.

Had we skipped it, I think I’d always wonder if I were missing something important.

Now I know that I’m not.

(Of course I say that now… I’ll likely eat my words in mid-May.)

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Woo-hoo!My paycheck just went up $30.76!

Really, I can’t tell you what I’m going to do…

Actually… Yes I can.

I’m going to spend it.

And, you know, stimulate the economy.

At first I thought it was some sneaky minuscule percentage type raise to coincide with my recent 12-year anniversary at work.

That would be highly unlikely though. In the past, raises have been few and far between. Generous, but certainly not on any sort of schedule.

Then I remembered Obama mentioning something about lowering taxes for pretty much everyone. Wasn’t that a campaign promise? I think so.

Thanks Barry!

Anyway, I just didn’t think it was supposed to start until April at the earliest (or at all, frankly) but it showed up on my paycheck this past Thursday.

They’re taking $30 less from the Federal Income Tax line.

I can see it, right there, in black and white. How about that?

That’ll work out to almost $800 per year!!!

Now I just have to decide how to spend it… and, well, stimulate the economy!

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Warren Buffett enjoying a sundae at Dairy Queen.Amid all of the sensationalism in the media (mostly NBC) over what Warren Buffett said this morning, the one line that they should be using to calm the masses is the one I haven’t heard a snippet of yet:

“I would never have a feeling that the Dow is going to go to 2,000 or 12,000 or 4,300 or 20,200. I don’t – I know over time it will go higher but if you buy a cross section of good equities, generally well capitalized companies, you’ll make money over 10 or 20 years. I haven’t the faintest idea where you’ll be in 10 months, but it really doesn’t make any difference.”

The media makes it seem as if everyone is a day trader dealing with individual stocks…

Warren comes in and essentially asks people to wait a decade and then get back to him on how much money they think that they ‘lost’.

Seriously, unless you’re in retirement or darn close to it, what’s going on right now doesn’t mean a thing. Peaks and valleys. Peaks and valleys.

Just chill, baby…

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