It’s Not Always about Money

Just over a week ago, now, back on November 28th, I received one of those phone calls that you never really expect — or want.

I was watching some Thomas the Train videos with Duncan when the phone rang — it was my parents’ number.

Not unusual for a Sunday morning but a little out of the ordinary given that I had just spoken with them a couple of nights before on Thanksgiving.

An unfamilar voice speaking over what was an obviously chaotic scene bluntly stated, “There’s been an accident… He’s gone.”

And with that, well, let’s just say that a lot of my perspectives changed.

Papa Smurf had left the village.

My dad died in a fall from a ladder while prepping to do some Christmas decorating. He was only 63.

In a lot of ways, it still doesn’t feel real.

I suppose, in time, it’ll sink in that he’s not (t)here anymore.

I don’t expect that time to come soon for me.

The phone call that morning — and, really, the entire day of sitting squished between two strangers on a series of flights that you never intended on making — was one of those things where you just sit there with a confused look on your face, frozen, unsure of what to do or say.

Paying off all of the new-found credit card balances, well, they’re no longer a priority. Certainly not on the forefront of my thoughts.

In fact, merely hours after learning the news, I’d added a few thousand dollars more on to what I was already carrying and had barely begun to pay down.

It didn’t matter — it doesn’t matter.

So I’ll pick up where I left off on November 27th eventually, you know, put my head down, get through Christmas, and then hope for a “better” 2011.

For the time being, though, I’ve still got that confused look on my face.

Posted on December 8th, 2010 at 7:59 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life | 16 Comments »

October/November Divide

Okay, so as I type this, through the window, an orange glow is overpowering the room…even though it’s nearly dusk.

Yep, while those that live far from New England think that this must be the most beautiful time of year, those of us that witness this firsthand year in and year out, well, the message the colours send is quite different.

See, in a matter of days all of those leaves will be on the ground.

And you know what that means, right?

Yep, looming just ahead are an aching back and blisters all over the webbing between my index fingers and thumbs.

Sure — for the last couple of years we’ve had a landscape company come in and take care of the leaves for us but I’m not certain that it’s in the budget this year.

We’ve spent a lot of money this month and we’re not done yet either…

The now-complete renovation was a big chunk, yes, but then I went out and upgraded some camera gear, blew a load on hockey jerseys, and purchased a leather sectional couch with all of the bells and whistles.

And, as I just said one paragraph up, we’re not done either…

Still to buy are a new television and a piece of furniture to put that new television on.

Basically, I’ve got a couple grand more to spend…

In the end, since we’d spent so much so quickly, I figured that I might as well go all-out and get it out of my system so that we can get back on the track we were on before the renovation evaporated our savings.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned that smurfling 2 is on the horizon as well?

It’s gonna be a thrifty winter!

Posted on October 24th, 2010 at 4:45 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life | 9 Comments »

Home Ownership: Eight Years and Counting

Eight years ago today I signed my name on around 100 documents and grimaced my way through sitting far too close to a lawyer with the worst breath imaginable.

It was almost like the OJ-trial at the closing with my lawyer coming in all close to whisper what each form was about as if the standard forms were some sort of secret or something…

It was the one time in my life that I truly wished for a Tic-Tac. For someone else.

Anyway, I tried to dig up a few pictures of what the house looked like back in 2002, you know, to show off some of the progress, but apparently they were all on that hard drive that went belly-up back in 2007.

Someday I’ll send it in to a data recovery company. Someday. Like when they won’t charge me $1k+ for a 50% recovery rate.

So a lot has changed since I moved into the old musty thing. Best of all, it doesn’t smell like an old lady anymore. Not anywhere. The latest renovation has finally, finally, finally cleared the faint odor of Charlie perfume, cedar, and whatever can take credit for that familiar “grandma’s house” smell.

It’s all gone – replaced by the smell of wood and paint fumes. Mmmmmm…

Over the 8 years, I’d had a lot of work done and, yes, there’s still a ton left to do. No doubt about that but things have definitely been accelerateing in frequency and cost over the past few years.

Starting from the beginning, with-in days of moving in, I had an electrician come in and wire an outlet in my computer room. He charged an outrageous $500 fee.

Little did I know — this tiny project would cause endless anxiety and have far greater costs over the long haul.

The first big upgrade made was the jump from 60-amp to 200-amp service in early 2003. When I first moved in, if I turned on the television and the vacuum at the same time, I’d end up having to venture down into the dark basement to screw in a new fuse.

Yep — you read that right. I had to “screw” in a new fuse. Probably twice a week — any time I did laundry.

I think it cost me around $1500 to upgrade to 200-amp service and have the new panel with circuit breakers put in. I also had a new wire run to the dryer cause, well, it had its own circuit now. Based on what I know now — I got a great deal on that upgrade.

The next fall, just after I’d had my oil tank filled up, the furnace died. Right then and there I replaced the old coal furnance (since converted to oil) with a brand new natural gas one. Including that wasted oil fill-up, the cost was right around the $5000 mark.

After that initial blast of renovation activity, I took a long break — 2004 was the first year that I put nothing into the house. I think we painted a room ourselves — that was it. More of the same in 2005 and most of 2006.

In my head, I was saving up for a new roof — and I even had a few contractors come over — but in reality I was just spinning my wheels.

It wasn’t until December of 2006 that the roof project actually got off the ground for real. Total cost — including the removal of a chimney and porch was $12000.

Yep, now we’re talking about some serious money…

In 2007, we did the siding project with those horrible contractors that just went on and on and on and on. Total cost on that, including a new porch and some exterior doors, was in the vicinity of $25000.

We spent 2008 on the sideline, you know, pretty much broke.

In 2009, we had those huge trees taken down. Total damage there was only $2750. If you haven’t seen it, you should check out the video.

Also in 2009, we were finally able to un-do the unfortunate homeowners insurance situation that the very first project put us in.

Yep — it took 7 years to “fix” what that contractor initiated. Ugh. Makes me angry just thinking about it.

In 2010, we re-financed to lower the mortage bill to less than $500 per month and we’re in the final stages of our interior remodel that’ll probably top out at around $36000.

While it troubles me some that I’m averaging putting over $10k worth of work into the house each year, I still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Like I said just a few months ago — this money pit was a great purchase.

I think I’ll still feel the same way in another 8 years…

Posted on October 1st, 2010 at 8:21 pm by Brainy Smurf
Home Improvements, Life | No Comments »

Amy Toyen: June 20, 1977 – September 11, 2001

Today is September 11th.

In some ways, I’m kind of glad that the “hype” that’s surrounded the date for the last few years has finally subsided. I mean, is it really necessary to commemorate every single anniversary? I think that sort of thing had gone a little too far in the United States. Everyday on the calendar is an anniversary of something — but does it have to be mentioned every year? I don’t think so.

Now I know, there are people out there that claim 9/11 is different and that its so we “never forget”. Well, I’m not sure anyone in the western world over the age of 15 will ever forget anyway. I know I haven’t forgotten.

I actually knew someone in the World Trade Center that day.

These days it seems most people claim that they knew someone who died on September 11th, so as to feel connected to the event (which, quite honestly, why would anyone want to have a connection?), but I think a lot are just blowing a lot of hot air to get attention or something. That’s sad.

I went to high school with Amy Toyen. I can’t claim that we were close. In fact, I’d have to say that I knew her older sister even better than her, but she knew my name, I knew hers, and we occasionally sat next to each other on the bus to track meets.

She was the “manager” of the track team in high school — a position she took over when her older sister Heather graduated.

What exactly does a “manager” do for the boys track team you ask?

Well, if you tracked down all of the members of the boys track team from her years in high school, I’d bet every single member would remember vividly that she was the girl who brought blow pops for all of us to eat on the bus ride home.

It sounds silly, but that’s just the type of person she was. For some of us, the blow pop on the bus rides home was one of the perks of being on the track team. Actually, when compared to running up hills repeatedly until you couldn’t feel your legs, I’d say it was the only perk. And it was because of Amy.

In addition to being the ever-popular supplier of lollipops, at home track meets, she maintained the score book — that’s where all of the competitors times, distances, and heights are recorded. Scoring a track meet is rather confusing when you get right down to it — but she was second to none.

Sometimes it was like she had the school’s all-time record book at her fingertips too — always handy when striving to break a 20 year old mile time.

In high school, I was a distance runner. I often ran 4-5 events per meet, but when the competition was stiff, the coach had me run my two best events — the long ones.

The first event of a meet was the 5000 meter. The second to last event was the 3200 meter. Looking back, it was probably set up that way so that we distance runners had time to rest between the two longest events.

Basically, I’d have about 2 hours to kill between my two events. More often than not, I’d spend most of that time leaning over the counter into the “tower” shooting the breeze with Amy…

“Hey, what was my time last week?”

“Amy, do you have a pair of pliers? My spike wrench snapped…”

“What time to I have to hit to qualify for the State Open?”

“That kid over there from Tolland — can you see what he ran last year? I don’t recognize him…”

“Any chance I could get a blow pop now? Please? Pretty please?”

She always had the “right” answer to each and every inquiry.

When the news circulated that she’d been in the building, and it was confirmed when I saw her name go by on a ticker on television a few days later, I’m not sure that I was mad. Or even angry. My stomach was in a knot — I was shocked. And I was sad. Sad for her family and those who knew her, and yes, even those of us on the track team. She was one of the few ‘genuine’ people in our high school full of ‘entitled’ snobs.

They erected a statue of her at the local library where we grew up. I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never actually gone to visit even though I’ve driven by numerous times over the years.

I’ve seen pictures though and, for me, it didn’t do her justice. I prefer to remember her for her huge smile, her freckles, her oversized glasses, and with an extended arm holding out a blow pop. And that’s probably why I’ve never stopped by to see the statue.

I’m going to go out and buy a bag of blow pops today.

(Re-post from September 11, 2007)

Posted on September 11th, 2010 at 8:06 am by Brainy Smurf
Current Events, Life, People | No Comments »

It’s my Birfday; We gon’ Party like it’s my Berfday!

Seriously, though, it is my birthday.

I officially turned 34 today and while I don’t believe in astrology or any of that mystical nonsense, over the past decade or so, I have made a habit of seeking out the horoscope articles that start with “If today is your birthday…”

Here’s the first one that I came across this year with my personal comments in red.

If Today is your Birthday
Eccentric and philosophical, Leos born on August 13 possess a kinetic energy that is the envy of all who know them. [What a load of crap that is...]

They are talented individuals who are able to make a name for themselves in anything they attempt. [Okay, I'll take it. It's true that I've turned out to be pretty adept at the things that have peaked my interest.]

Challenges seem to awaken their fighting spirit and give them the inspiration they need. [Ha! Yeah, that's funny... This is about as far from the truth as possible.]

Friends and Lovers
August 13 natives do not seek friendship as much for its emotional rewards as for the satisfaction it gives in allowing them to observe human nature. [This is spot on. I mean, my Facebook friends list has swelled to over 250 aquaintances. While I do truly know every single one of them personally, really, it's just so that I can look at their photo albums and peek in on how they're doing. It's not emotional at all -- it's digital.]

Romantic involvements may encompass some of these identical needs, though in relationships they are more vulnerable. [Not sure about this one. Can't say that I ever dated someone just to "observe human nature." That's for weirdos.]

They have a romantic spirit and may be more sensitive and easily hurt than they appear to be. [I can work with that. I'm convinced my spleen exploded once and I walked it off...for 5 months.]

Children and Family
August 13 individuals learn their life-lessons at an early age, and it is from these challenging circumstances that they develop a great deal of their wisdom. [I bumped my forehead pretty bad falling off my bike when I was in kindergarten and that taught me to watch where I'm going and not to lead with my head -- especially when falling. Does that count?]

When August 13 people become parents, they are somewhat distant. [Perhaps.]

Although they can be loving, they wish to teach their children hard lessons. [Okay, so maybe this is why when Duncan falls down and starts to cry, I kinda freeze and stare at him waiting for him to get back up on his own... Yep, I'm blaming the stars or whatever...]

Health
Nervousness and anxiety sometimes undermine the natural good health of August 13 individuals. [Definitely. The skittles and grape soda diet probably doesn't help either.]

These people worry about everything. [Sheesh -- did they have to rub it in?]

They love to eat, and since they may overindulge regularly, these people need to set aside time each day for vigorous exercise. [I do enjoy eating but I've also been told that I eat like a bird so...yeah, let's not talk about the daily vigorous exercise.]

Career and Finances
August 13 natives are drawn to unusual, even dangerous, occupations that give them the opportunity to experience a unique reality. [Not sure this applies. My "real" job is pretty tame when it comes to danger and I certainly wouldn'y classify myself as a risk taker.]

August 13 natives have a gift for making money, even when they don’t set it as a priority. [I wonder when this kicks in? Actually, this one works too -- in my early 20's I made a lot more money than I ever should have without even really trying. Well, I was "trying" but I was never trying to "make money."]

Dreams and Goals
August 13 people gravitate toward the unique, the strange, the unusual because it allows them to play out their own inner conflicts. [Um, okay. I'm not about to pierce my face or anything, though.]

An addiction to excitement also characterizes them. [I live adventure more than excitement. Less risk involved.]

They seek to push the level of their emotional involvement beyond mere commitment until it very nearly becomes an obsession. [Is this in reference to the hockey jersey thing?]

Posted on August 13th, 2010 at 9:22 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life | 2 Comments »

You Paid *How* Much for a Used What?

Over the weekend, I bought a vacuum cleaner.

Not exactly exciting or out of the ordinary stuff on its own until I tell you that I bought it used *and* I paid just shy of $800 for it.

Say what?

Yep, see, of late (and for the last 7 years) we’ve been getting by using a $60 piece of crap Eureka upright that I bought at Ames (when they were still in business) and my wife’s much nicer Hoover upright.

I say it’s nicer because it has a headlight, you know, for those night time vacuuming sessions…or something?

Anyway, my vacuum apparently doesn’t work (according to my wife — I obviously don’t do a lot of the vacuuming).

And I just don’t like upright vacuums.

See, everytime she vacuums, I launch into an asthma-like attack where the rest of my day is pretty much shot.

This might explain why I don’t do much of the vacuuming. It’s one of those cause and effect things…

Back on topic… When I was a kid, we never had an upright vacuum. When ever there’d be a vacuum featured on the Price is Right or something, I always thought it looked weird.

Little did I know, our vacuum was the “weird” one.

It looked like R2-D2 in a brown 1970′s style colour scheme. Where R2 had those two blue vent looking circles on his chest, well, that’s where the hose went on our vacuum.

It was a beast — and it looked like the best robot ever.

When I went away to university, my mom was still using that same vacuum cleaner.

And I *still* thought it looked cool.

Dare I admit, I even used it a few times. Yep. I did.

So, anyway, a few years pass and I come back home after university… The R2-D2 vacuum is still going strong (now pushing 30+ years old) but my dad — now retired — is sucked in to an Oreck XL infomercial.

I’m not sure how he manged to click off of FoxNews for more than a second, but he did, and a few days later the Oreck XL — an upright vacuum — arrived on our front porch.

So long R2-D2.

I wasn’t actually home when R2-D2 disappeared — I would have appealed — but it didn’t take long to notice that *something* in our house was different.

I couldn’t breath.

At first — since I’m one of those guys that’s allergic to *everything* — I thought I might just be reacclimating to living in a house with dogs after so many years away.

Then I blamed the Glade spray that my mom would spray in the basement where she smoked (she’s since quit).

Both seemed like great explanations until one day I was on the couch watching a UConn Women’s basketball game and my mom started vacuuming.

It was that damn Oreck XL. It blew more crap out than it sucked in.

And it was like it’s bag was coated with some sort of deodorizer or something. In the sunlight, you could see that the room was *filled* with a fine powder.

Dust, maybe, but it was scented like that Arm & Hammer powder people use to cover the smell of dog pee. Mmmm… potpourri flavored dog piss in powder form…

I wanted R2-D2 back.

Anyway, when I finally moved out and bought my previously mentioned Eureka upright — strictly avoiding Oreck — I quickly noticed that Oreck wasn’t to blame for my breathing issues.

Upright vacuums, in general, were the problem.

They *all* have a freakin’ fan in close proximity to the spot where they’re supposed to suck. What’s up with that?

Talk about a design flaw. Yeah, even you Dyson…

So off I went to eBay in search of one of R2-D2′s siblings. When they say that you can find ‘IT‘ on eBay, well, they’re not kidding.

There he was — the exact same vacuum I remember sucking up my Legos and my sister’s Barbie shoes. Built in 1971 he was commanding $350 on eBay?!

What?

And he had 27 bids?

Holy crap?!

I let my parents have it over the phone — they threw away R2-D2 when they could have sold him for hundreds of dollars?! Ugh…

At the time, I couldn’t pull the trigger or justify spending so much money on a 30+ year old vacuum but I made sure to remember the name.

Rainbow.

Someday I’d have one. Someday.

Well, that day will be later this week when it arrives.

I didn’t buy the 1971 model opting instead for an early 2000′s model. It still resembles R2-D2, kinda-sorta, except he’s not all metal like he used to be. No chrome either.

Maybe this one won’t weight as much as an anvil.

The horrible brown colour scheme remains, though. Go figure.

Actually, you know what? This newer model kinda looks more like that other little droid that the Jawas tired to sell to Luke’s uncle Owen. His name was R4-D4.

Yes, I *really* enjoyed the first couple of Star Wars movies…

So, in the end, I paid $760 for a decade-old vacuum.

Crazy?

Perhaps, but brand new it would have cost me around $2600 (and required an in-home demonstration from a pushy salesman that would make me very uncomfortable).

I was already sold — I don’t need a salesman to sell it to me — but that’s the way they do business.

Since good old R2-D2 was still going strong after nearly 30 years, I felt confident in buying this one used.

Sure, it seems gross to buy someone else’s vacuum — it skeeves me out too — but it’s not like you eat off of it or sleep on it or anything.

Best of all, I think we’ll be vacuuming a lot more often once it arrives — no, not because it’s easier but because it won’t cause me so much post-vacuum misery.

That, and since it’s *my* vacuum, my wife will probably make me do more of the vacuuming myself.

This is a win/win situation for both of us!

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

PIAC Post Extension:

For the record, the model I purchased is the Rainbow E2.

You can look it up if you like. It’s a canister vacuum that doesn’t use a bag — it uses a pan of water that you fill each time to collect the dust, dirt, dog food, Legos, and Barbie shoes and things.

The whole marketing gimmick that they use is that “wet dust can’t fly”.

It’s a pretty fair statement — wet dust really doesn’t fly — but it sounds like a load of crap at the same time — you know, like how a Dyson can cruise around corners on it’s ball and “never loses suction”.

Yeah, okay, whatever Jim… That fancy accent of yours isn’t going to fool me.

I’ve never personally had a Dyson but I’ve also never had a problem taking a corner with a vacuum cleaner either…

But here’s the thing — the ridiculous gimmick of the water reservoir on Rainbow vacuum cleaners *actually* works. That and a design where there isn’t a fan blowing right on top of where you’re vacuuming doesn’t hurt either.

Yeah, this is a glowing review. This thing works, I’m telling you, and I don’t even have it in my hands yet.

Twenty five years of personally living with R2-D2 proved that to me.

The newer models might not be built like a tank but the idea is still the same — and it’s still *so* much different than anything else out there.

Yeah, I’m talking to you Dirt Devil, Electrolux, Hoover, Eureka, Dyson, and Bissel…

It’s a shame that so few people have ever even heard of Rainbow.

And seriously, who doesn’t like R2-D2?

By the way, the latest models use a blue colour scheme… Yep, just like the real R2…

And I’d bet than in another 30 years, Duncan will be saying to his wife, “We should buy one of those vacuums that looks like that beeping robot in that dumb space movie my dad liked…”

And it’ll be a wise decision.

Posted on March 8th, 2010 at 7:42 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life, Retro | 7 Comments »

TMI : Grape Fanta and Vienna Fingers

I’ve failed.

Nearly 9 months in, 242 days to be exact, I have officially been (soundly) defeated by a soiled diaper.

Yep, the smackdown took place yesterday morning as we were eating cookies and watching ice hockey highlights on television together on the couch.

Sniff, sniff… Suddenly a waft of not-so-sweetness overtook the room.

Eh, routine diaper change coming up. Or so I thought…

I quickly learned that this was not going to be a typical diaper change.

Oh no, this was one for the ages…

I’d guesstimate that Duncan has 3 or 4 blowouts per week so it’s not exactly an unusual occurance. Thankfully, though, 90% of them happen while he’s at school (which is what they call daycare these days), so it’s not usually *my* problem.

With my wife in the shower, well, this one was all me.

As is fumbled with the snaps holding his pajama-with-feet outfit together, it became apparent that I had a, um, mess on my hands. We’re talking “Global Thermonuclear War“… and a mess on my hands. Literally.

Fighting a pair of kicking legs, I tried in earnest to control the, well, let’s just call it “insanity”.

Doing my best to keep the, um, “insanity” contained, I used a few wipes here, a few wipes there, a clean diaper over there, and even a bit of his outfit to get it out from between his toes, you know the drill…

I was doing pretty well, or so I thought, and then I coughed…

I gagged.

And then I heaved.

I pressed on though. Had to complete the mission, you know?

But then, holding the little guy’s lower end in the air by the ankles over an overflowing diaper with “insanity” smeared all over much of my free hand, my mouth suddenly filled with a mixture of Vienna Fingers and grape flavored Fanta.

Uh-oh…

I’ve probably already “spilled” too much info here but I’m sure you get the gist of what happened next.

Anyway, I’m still patting myself on the back for lasting 241 days longer than I ever thought I would.

He looks guilty, doesn’t he?

Posted on January 24th, 2010 at 6:55 am by Brainy Smurf
Life, Smurfling | 4 Comments »

Duncan’s Turkey and Black Friday 1992

So tonight when I picked up my son, who turns 6 months old tomorrow, from school, as we made our way through the hallway back out to the car, four people stopped to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving.

By name.

Granted, three of them *were* employees of the school but, still, it’s apparent that he makes an impression on people. I have no idea who the fourth woman was but apparently she knows my son, again, by name.

That’s pretty cool considering I’m one of those people that thinks most babies look the same.

I once had a math teacher in high school that thought my name was Jeff for the entire school year. Mr. Sopelak was his name.

I’ll always wonder how I managed an A- in his class when, in his mind, Brainy Smurf never once attended one of his classes.

Anyway, I thought of that today as I loaded Duncan into the car because it was Black Friday back in 1992 when my mom and I ran into Mr. Sopelak and his wife outside of a now defunct department store called G. Fox.

The doors weren’t open yet and there were only a handful of people outside waiting for the store to open. Mr. Sopelak recognized me, came over, and had an impromptu parent-teacher conference with my mother to pass the time.

He referred to me as “Jeff” repeatedly. Thankfully my mom, though confused, just went along with it.

See, it wasn’t until that moment that I realized that my math teacher had absolutely no idea what my real name was.

Sure, I should have noticed in class that when he’d call on “Jeff” to answer a question and no one would answer. And then I’d notice him staring at me as I silently stared back wondering why exactly he was looking at me. I guess I just thought he was, I dunno, weird.

Either way, I never did respond well to “Jeff”. In fact, I still don’t.

Over time, though, it almost became an inside joke in the classroom. He’d call on Jeff. I’d, as you’d expect, completely ignore him, the girls in the class would giggle, and then I’d kick in with an answer after like 20 seconds of awkward silence.

In hindsight, it *was* pretty funny.

The guy must’ve thought “Jeff” was a space cadet.

Brainy, however, was worth an A-.

Go figure?

So, basically, I never made an impression and, based on tonight, I doubt that Duncan will have the same problem I did.

Posted on November 25th, 2009 at 7:58 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life, Smurfling | No Comments »

Opportunity of a Lifetime

So I noticed today that one of the historic mansions in town is up for sale.

Apparently, it’s been on the market for quite some time but never publically listed — until now.

Now I’m a sucker for old houses — ideally from the 1800′s — preferably architecturally unique and well maintained over the years too.

There are two homes in town that I wish that I could some day live in. One is so large that it has a real honest-to-goodness ball room and will likely be eternally out of my price range.

The other, in some obvious disrepair, would probably be too much of a restoration feat for me even if I could afford to purchase it. Still, it’s an awesome looking home.

Both homes are very similar to those found in Newport, Rhode Island.

The house that I currently live in is, well, from the 1800′s but most of it’s architectural style was decimated over two or three decades of neglect.

The vinyl siding project that I had done a couple of years ago quickly cleaned the place up — on the exterior — but certainly didn’t add to its authenticity.

So, back to this home that I found on the market…

Though it’s not exactly the style of home on the outside that I really get excited about, it *is* right around the corner from the house with the ball room that I *really* want.

One step at a time, right?

Seriously, though, in its own right, it’s an 8,000+ square foot home so it’s certainly nothing to sneeze at. I should also mention that the house has a “name” and a history as it was built by and for one of the very successful businessmen of the industrial revolution — a real nerdy history buff or Jeopardy freak would recognize the name.

Apparently it was even the first home in town to be electrified.

As you’d expect, the inside looks incredible — the type of house that you could easily play basketball inside, not that I like basketball, I’m just saying, you know, there’s something to be said for 16-foot ceilings.

It has one of those double curved staircases with a huge balcony overhead just inside the entry way, a modern kitchen, seven fire places, a carriage house that’s bigger than the house I live in now, and just, well, space galore.

Oh, and three more staircases cause, you know, there can never be too many staircases…

Best of all, since it’s been on the market for so long (apparently), its price tag is comparable to your typical (and characterless) 3000 square foot McMansion.

I can afford that.

I’m not going to go so far as to say that I can afford to maintain a home like that though…

I mean, can you imagine how much it would cost to re-paint an 8000 square foot home under historical site requirements? Or just the cost to heat rooms with 16-foot ceilings?

If I had to guess, I’d say that’s exactly why it’s on the market at such a bargain price. The historical restrictions of owning such a home as well as the routine utility costs might be unbearable — I don’t know for certain.

I mean, if re-wiring the place for cable internet isn’t permitted because it would damage the historical integrity of the home, well, that’s a deal breaker for me.

At the same time, I don’t want a McMansion either. To me, they look (and feel) like a couple of double-wide trailers stacked on top of one another — something a tornado *could* conceivably create.

Yeah, no thanks…

So, for now, I’m going to delay the dream and stay put in my 1800′s de-Victorianized vinyl wrapped home.

Great street, great lot, great neighbors, and cable internet.

Hey, at least I already have some of what I really want.

And now I know that the real deal isn’t as far out of reach as I once thought.

(anyone wanna go halfsies on it with me?)

Posted on November 24th, 2009 at 8:37 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life | 1 Comment »

Three Misguided Senior Perspectives from a 30-Something

As we stumble into another election season here in the US, the fact that the senior citizens are generally the largest voting block (and dictate who actually wins) is really starting to scare the crap out of me.

Whether it’s my parents, my friend’s parents, or even the interactions I’ve had with the dinosaurs that attend our imaginary government meetings (the meetings aren’t imaginary, the government is — it’s complicated), I can’t help but notice how differently they see things and how, well, out of touch they are with how things work these days — simply because they don’t need to stay in touch with how things work.

The first thing I think they’ve lost touch with is this whole healthcare issue that has been in the news for the past few months. Yeah, yeah, I know they’re all over the whole medicare side of things (for their own reasons) but they can’t understand why the “younger” set is by-and-large upset with the wacky costs associated with health insurance.

In my own situation, I’d consider myself pretty well off. My wife and I both have full time jobs and both offer health insurance. It sounds like a pretty cushy situation but we’re still paying around $15000 per year for insurance — and this isn’t for some special elite plan. I don’t think the average senior realizes that it’s that high of a number — it wasn’t during their working days.

Yep — using an average household income of $50,233 (2007 numbers), healthcare is costing us nearly 30% of our PRE-TAX income. You can’t deny the percentages — the average American household wasn’t blowing 30% of their pre-tax income in the 1970′s and 1980′s unless, of course, they were a really unhealthy family.

The crazy part in my own personal situation is that I haven’t been to a doctor in over a decade. Do the math… Yep, I should have an extra 6-figures in my pocket. It’s highway robbery. It really is.

Now I’m not saying that a government plan is the best option (even though I am Canadian and do, in theory, support such an idea) or even a solution, I just think that there’s a HUGE segment of the voting population that are completely unaware of what the younger folks are paying, not for services, but for just-in-case insurance. It’s not right.

The next thing is the whole concept of a 401k plan. I’ve heard two or three people over the past couple of months someone say along the lines of, “Yeah, well you don’t need pensions because people your age have 401ks…”

I don’t know about you but there are an awful lot of companies out there that don’t even offer 401k plans — I’m pretty sure that most of my friends have nothing of the sort. And even if they do, good luck finding a company that *still* offers a match — sometimes I even have to laugh that employers call it a “benefit”.

Using my own 401k as a real life example : I’ve been contributing to it pretty heavily for a dozen years to receive the largest possible employer match (from when they were *still* offering a match). You know, basically making the most of it that I possibly could.

My total balance right now is right around $79000. Fourteen thousand of that is from my employer — or a little over $1000 per year over my 12 years of contributing.

You can throw phrases like “compound interest” or “tax deferred” in there all you like, there is NO WAY that anyone can claim that $1000 per year over a 25-30 year career (if you’re lucky) is going to be enough to “retire” on.

The fact is — employers aren’t going to take care of their “former” workforce like they used to and calling a 401k plan a “retirement” plan similar to a pension is, well, like comparing apples to asparagus. One tastes like crap.

That’s right Mom, I still don’t like asparagus. I think, at this point, it’s safe to say that I never will.

So, from my employer’s contributions to my 401k, I might end up with a $200 check each month for a few years once I retire… And don’t forget — I’m at that unfortunate age where I won’t be getting any social security checks on top of it all either… Ouch.

And on the subject of fixed incomes and social security checks, what is up with the seniors getting all upset about not getting a “raise” in 2010…

Are they as out of touch as Wall Street?

Maybe my job sucks but I’m pretty sure that I’m not alone — I haven’t gotten a raise since 2003. It might even be as far back as 2001 but plain and simple, right now, I’m certainly not expecting a token raise anytime soon, you know, just because…

Really, everyone’s cost-of-living has gone up (I personally haven’t noticed) but those still lucky enough to be part of the workforce aren’t seeing the “adjustments” that the seniors have come to expect. It’s messed up — the seniors need to get in touch with reality on this one.

Again, like the 401k/pension thing, that isn’t how things work anymore — people don’t get token raises just because…

But in the end, it’s really funny to me as I can’t deny that I’ve jumped the bandwagon before and said stuff like, “Yeah, the bratty Gen Y’s out there just expect everything to be handed to them…” but now I’m seeing first hand that AARP members are just as expectant of handouts.

Weird how perspectives change… or fail to change… Seems that every generation can fall into that often mocked me-me-me category indicating that one thing is for certain — we’re not all in this together.

Posted on October 19th, 2009 at 8:18 pm by Brainy Smurf
401k, Current Events, Finance, Health, Life, Rants | 4 Comments »

Four Months and Counting…

Well, it’s now been four months since my son was born and though we bought him a highchair just for the occasion, I’ve gotta say…kids are definitely worth the added expense.

(For the record, I only wrote this post because Debt Destroyer called Pants in a Can a “Mommy Blog” last week. Perhaps I should change my theme…)

Posted on September 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life, Smurfling | 7 Comments »

90 Days In…

I’ve officially been a parent for 90 days now…

Being 90 days, it’s almost like I’m at the end of a trial period, or something, so here are my thoughts…

Not only is this not very difficult, I’m not certain that I could even classify it as hard.

Sure, this past weekend was a little rough as he managed to suffer his first fever — a bout that resulted in very little sleep for anyone under this roof — and his first snuffy nose — that resulted in some of the most foul booger action I’ve ever seen.

How so much snot can come from such a tiny nose is simply miraculous…

But outside of that (and a few blow-outs up the back — one even up the front!), it’s mostly been smiles.

Like the picture.

I’d bet the next 90 days are even easier and… hopefully they’re just as kind to my wallet too.

Since birth — I’m “up” over $20k…

Woo-hoo!

Posted on August 24th, 2009 at 8:17 pm by Brainy Smurf
Life, Smurfling | 1 Comment »